Commissioner for a Day

[Mongoose87 373]

I'm going to take this as an unlimited power sort of scenario. 

 

Contrary to the usual approach, let's start with some things I want to emphasize that I'm keeping the same:

 

-The North America: Europe conference split. These two continents represent the vast majority of interest in hockey and I think it would be misguided to take the VHL outside of them. 

 

-The weekly TPE cap: This structure is essential to both allow max earners to earn, but also allow casuals to create players that can contribute. 

 

-Stick with Simon T Hockey Simulator: No matter how much it sucks, it still sucks less than the alternatives. 

 

Now, on to my sweeping changes to the league:

 

-A bounty of unlimited Free Weeks for life to the user or users who are able to bring Simon T alive to my secret volcano lair. Enough is enough; he must pay for what he has done to us all. A tank of sharks with lasers attached to their heads awaits him. 

 

-The VHLE must go: I expect many commissioners for a day will be doing the same. The experiment has gone on for long enough. Now that we've forced the lifers out, who is the E for? It is a speed bump, a purgatory that we burn a season in, toiling towards nothing. It cannot continue the charm of a new player’s creation that we experience in the M. It lacks the prestige of the VHL proper. It chews through promising new GM prospects. Let it die, before it drives another user to be inactive. Instead, we will expand the VHLM and VHL by four teams each, providing good homes for the forlorn players of the VHLE.

 

-Rebalance TPE costs: There are a few attributes that are naught but a tax that players in certain roles must pay. The center must spend his hard- earned TPE to be competent at faceoffs, leaving him with no chance to ever equal his winger cousins. The enforcer must invest her precious TPE in fighting, depriving herself for the privilege of being sent off the ice for five minutes. The grinder spends their TPE on checking, knowing it will send them to the box more often. Never again! Now, centers will receive an automatic 10 point boost to their STHS faceoffs attribute, plus an additional three after each season. Checking and fighting will no longer be attributes that are purchased. Rather, they will be set between 40-99 at the user's discretion at player creation and may be modified at each offseason. 

 

-More hybrid attributes to contribute to the STHS Penalty Shot attribute: The status quo implies that the only way to score on a penalty shot is with a well-placed wrist shot. Where is the spinorama? Where is the dirty dangle, the between the legs? Where is the fake shot and then to the backhand? Skating and puck handling will now also contribute to Penalty Shot. 

 

-A slush fund to send 10% of all income to the Cayman Islands. 

 

There you have it. Embrace the Mongoose of change and you will find that the league will flourish, great and cobra-free.