Dogwood Maple Tormented by Beavers While on Vacation

[dogwoodmaple 357]

To celebrate the offseason, Vancouver forward Dogwood Maple has decided to take a much needed vacation.  He and his family traveled back home to Georgia and spent three weeks in the scenic Blue Ridge Mountains.  Their days were filled with relaxation, smores, and some quality family time that they had all missed during the season.

 

"Don't get me wrong, I love playing hockey. But it can be hard on my family and I hate that I don't get to see them that much during the season. We're always traveling, practicing, and training, so it just makes it difficult to get that quality time with everyone. That's why we decided to take this trip to really be able to try and make up for lost time.  Everything was going fantastically...until the beavers started showing up."

 

One of the reasons Dogwood picked this certain cabin was because it was near a medium-sized creek, where they could go fish or just simply enjoy the dulcet sounds of rushing water.  Unfortunately for the Maple family, a hoard of enormous beavers had recently moved into the area and decided to make it their mission in life to dam up that creek.  And, for some reason, the beavers did not chew down the enormous pine and oak trees surrounding the creek, but rather set their sights on the wood cabin the Maples were staying in.

 

"One night I woke up around 2:00 AM and heard something downstairs, so I decided to go check it out. I figured it might've been an animal that got up on our porch, which wouldn't be that unusual. This cabin was pretty remote and I've awoken to deer or possums or raccoons right outside the house.  But I didn't see any of those animals.  Instead, I saw something that shook me to my very core.  On one of the many windows in the living room, there was a message scratched into the glass: 

 

LEAVE NOW OR BE DAMMED FOREVER

 

At first I thought it was some kids playing a prank because "dammed" was misspelled, but those suspicions were disspelled when I went outside and saw the largest beaver I've ever seen, standing on its hind legs, and pointing a claw at the message.  He nodded, pointed his claw at me, and then ran off," Maple said.

"I really thought I dreamt it, right? I mean, beavers can't write, read, or do any of that.  But I woke my wife and she went downstairs and saw the message as well," Maple further explained.

 

After calling the police, the Maples attempted to get some sleep, before Dogwood was awoken again by vibrations coming from all around him.  He ran outside and saw nine large beavers absolutely chomping away at the lowest level of the house.  They were carrying the larges pieces off towards the creek and that's when it hit Maple.  LEAVE NOW OR BE DAMMED FOREVER.

 

"That's when I understood.  They didn't mean 'damned', they really meant we would become part of the dam if we didn't leave.  I wasn't sure what to do, but I knew how crazed beavers get around running water.  So that's when I went in the utility closet, grabbed an axe, and joined my beaver companions in chopping down nearby trees.  I figured if I helped them, they would leave my family alone and quit eating the house.  Fortunately, I was right.  We toiled all night to dam that river and at the very end, the beaver who had come up to my window simply looked, nodded, and ran off into the night," Maple said.

 

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