FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY for a Ducat!

[Aimee 1,074]

Disclaimer: This is satire and I love and appreciate everyone who works for the VHL and I have no ill-will towards anyone. Enjoy the dramatization of my feelings.

 

And on the seventh try of the seventh day of the seventh month, she was one again FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY for the job she so dearly coveted. Thou shalt not covet and yet here she is, coveting like no being had ever coveted before…

 

Or so the dramatic part of my brain likes to narrate it as.

 

Well, if you couldn’t tell, I’m going to talk about how I have been FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY every time I try to get the job of my dreams. Not just FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY, no. But scorned, ignored, overlooked, passed over, rejected, upstaged, neglected, disregarded! Thank you thesaurus.com.

 

There really is no other way to say it, I think. I mean, it’s clearly a malicious attempt to keep me from being able to control the flow of TPE to all of you innocent people who suffer week in and week out waiting days for updates to be approved. Yes. I want to be an updater. I have applied for the job multiple times and have spoken with prominent members of the community about how I would be a fantastic addition to the updater team. Yet every time I am passed along for someone who has been here much longer than I have. 

 

But what is it about me that makes me the perfect candidate for the updater job? Well that’s simple my dear reader; I’m online every single day in some capacity. I may not be active every day on the forum but I do check in constantly like a mother bird fawning over her baby chicks. I read and absorb and every time I click Update Player I am always smacked in the face with (1) or (2) or even (3)! A (3)! After days of suffering I am still waiting for those in control to release my sweet sweet TPE to me - their rightful owner. I have been scorned many times where I was in desperate need of approval so that I could apply said TPE and yet, it was the weekend and I could have made such a difference had the updaters just logged in and checked the que.

 

Do I know what really goes into the job? To be honest, no. I don’t know how simple or complex the back-end is and I cannot fathom the length of the que on a week like theme week. But, if I had the job, and I knew I had the ability to give some relief to players, I would do it. Even if it were just a small amount each day. It would make all the difference to how the updates slow down significantly mere weeks after the new hires have had their fun. 

 

I think it is time that people like me stop being FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY by the hiring team and given a chance to do a job that many people fall out of doing. I would be worthy of the job TPE. I would do my fair share. I would check in every day. I would earn my keep.

 

Love you all and please hire me in the future.

 

541 words for week ending 9/17/2023

Edited September 11, 2023 by aimkin