Possibly Analfisted but Defenitly FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY-Champ of ‘88

[Trazan 131]

 

 “Possibly Analfisted but Defenitly FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY-Champ of ‘88”

 

 

Voices on obscure hockey-forums and in basements around the world have been raised..

Was anyone in the s88 draft FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY? Has anybody been slighted by 10+ teams!? Insulted worse than insults involving Pigeons and/or Frenchmen

let's take a look at the prospects and compare who has risen to glory, to put GM’s to shame, To shine light on possibly the the snub of a lifetime! 

Ps I will simply look at TPE… 

 

This article is started 15/9 and the TPE and stats may differ between the players with a day or two updates,

At first we will go through the prospects in draft order and see what we first notice.

 

1	M.Callaway	779
2	S.Analfist	830
3	B..Bob	794
4	J.Davis	747
5	J.Stone	930
6	M.Stauffer	689
7	L.Slater	693
8	F.Mancini	671
9	O.Lazaro	605
10	M.Dilson	740
11	G.Mckeggegger	569
12	L.Gaming	493
13	N.Andersson	585
14	R.wheeler	546
15	D.turtle	425
16	M.Rice	480
17	M.Bigmac	246
18	A.Deluca	294
19	A.Tsujimoto	151
20	T.Yvel	502
21	E.s.Dudzinska	354
22	O.Gauthier	349
23	S.Romanov	154
24	F.Lewkowicz	148
25	J.williams	486
26	D.C.Lll	223
27	T.Dew	363
28	D.Mcilrath	263
29	B.Bjornabjorkson	400
30	J.Baraslov	203
31	D.A.Malkovich	277
32	B.Marchand	308

 

 

I must say that I'm very impressed with the GM’s around the league.

I expect there to be far more “busts” or wasted picks, commendations to The GM's in this legeue. 

As we can see M.Callaway is very very very far from a bust, But just looking at TPE he might not be the number one pick in a redraft.

Medal for the highest TPE in the draft so far goes to 5th pick J.stone.

The difference between them is 151 TPE, a big gap. 4 GM’s passed on him so maybe the potential was well hidden.

Might one say he was FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY? DA DA DA! 

I don’t think so to be honest

he was picked a few spots too low but nothing major and maybe one or two GM’s should feel some regret but it’s not like they walked away with nothing

All players in the top are very good players in their own right. 

Both Players and GM's should feel proud of their accomplishments 

 

Lets re-rank them based on TPE: 

 

Top Ten!

 

Drafted:	Name:	Total TPE	Ranked after TPE
5	J.Stone	930	1
2	S.Analfist	830	2
3	B..Bob	794	3
1	M.Callaway	779	4
4	J.Davis	747	5
10	M.Dilson	740	6
7	L.Slater	693	7
6	M.Stauffer	689	8
8	F.Mancini	671	9
9	O.Lazaro	605	10

 

I wouldn’t say there are any real snubbs in the top 10.

All players originally selected in the first ten spots still go within the top ten

Although in a slightly different order

And no one outside this first group has yet made it to 600 TPE.

J.stone rose 4 spots which won’t even put him top3 on the list.

 

Picks 11-20

 

Drafted:	Name:	Total TPE	Ranked after TPE
13	N.Andersson	585	11
11	G.Mckeggegger	569	12
14	R.wheeler	546	13
20	T.Yvel	502	14
12	L.Gaming	493	15
25	J.williams	486	16
END	OF	FIRST	ROUND
16	M.Rice	480	17
15	D.turtle	425	18
29	B.Bjornabjorkson	400	19
27	T.Dew	363	20

 

Here we start to see some real movement. Jumping 6 spots from 20 to 14 is me: Tord Yvel.

Not a whole lot but some Gm’s might need to rethink their drafting.

Or not, most would say that this far into the draft  it’s mostly luck.

In this group we have two of the biggest snubbs though

J. Williams who climbed 9 spots, From 25 to 16

real solid pick with a chance to make some real damage in the VHL

Something you don’t see left on the board as late as 25 in many drafts. 

Top climber B.Bjornabjorkson has picked up enough TPE to be ranked 10(!) spots ahead of his original draft-spot

from 29 to 19.

Something I was very surprised to see when the draft was concluded

I thought for sure he would be picked way higher than at 29.

I strongly  feel that there is a story here.

Maybe he wouldn’t play for some teams and had been outspoken about it?

Maybe he yelled at some GM’s dogs at the park?

Maybe he cut some scouts of at the highway?

Did he spit in someone's beer?

Was he caught curling into a little ball and calling himself an orange?

Maybe, Maybe not?

I certainly don’t know but it’s clear that he was drafted too late.

 

21-32

Drafted:	Name:	Total TPE	Ranked after TPE
21	E.s.Dudzinska	354	21
22	O.Gauthier	349	22
32	B.Marchand	308	23
18	A.Deluca	294	24
31	D.A.Malkovich	277	25
28	D.Mcilrath	263	26
17	M.Bigmac	246	27
26	D.C.Lll	223	28
30	J.Baraslov	203	29
23	S.Romanov	154	30
19	A.Tsujimoto	151	31
24	F.Lewkowicz	148	32

 

In this group there really only is one climber

B.Marchand who climbed 9 spots.

But this far down I don't think the GM’s are really that troubled.

I mean 308 TPE is definitely nothing to sneeze at and it’s a good job getting there.

But does it scream Franchise changing?

Not really

Although i really want to stress that it’s a marathon and not a sprint.

Maybe one of these guys will go on to the hall of fame, You never know!

and Role players are the meat on any team worthy of the Cup.

Anyway, B.Marchand takes 3rd place on our most FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY list and will be interesting to follow and see if he can climb some more on this list.

He could end up as the steal of the draft in a few seasons. 

 

So after some ramblings and reviewing the time has come to present the top three FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY players of the s88 and to crown a FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY-Champ.

 

 

In third place…………..

 

Spoiler

 

 

Brad Marchand! 

@McGriddy10

drafted By: London United

 

 

For placing third on this list of lists

Brad has won himself and his family one year worth of Rat-Posion from Vancouver-Hates-Rats Ltd

 

Second place belongs tooooo…………..

 

Spoiler

Justin Williams!

@JCV

Drafted By: Malmö Nighthawks

 

For finishing second Justin williams will be awarded 3 Fine Cups, one made in Raleigh and two made in Downtown Los angeles. Of course with his name Engraved.

 

And now for the first place on the FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY List forever 

(Or at least until someone else take a look at this further down the line)

 

 “Possibly Analfisted but Defenitly FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY-Champ of ‘88” 

 

;

In FIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSST PLACE VHL’S OWN WITH THE IMPOSSIBLE NAME

ALL THE WAY FROM DEEPEST SWEDEN

 

Spoiler

 

BJORKABJORN BJORNABJORKSON

@JardyB10

 

Drafted By: The Prague Phantoms

together with all the fame and recognition that comes with a title as heavy as

“possibly analfisted but definitely FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY-Champ of ‘88” 

ABBA That  produces the most well known Caviar in Sweden “Kalles Kaviar” has decided to change their over 70 year old brand to

“BjorkaBjorns Kaviar”

 

 

~1240 words

will use for week endings

24/9

1/10 

(edited cus wrong week endings)

Edited September 22, 2023 by Trazan

[JardyB10 4,869]

On 9/17/2023 at 12:40 AM, Trazan said:

Maybe he wouldn’t play for some teams and had been outspoken about it?

Maybe he yelled at some GM’s dogs at the park?

Maybe he cut some scouts of at the highway?

Did he spit in someone's beer?

Was he caught curling into a little ball and calling himself an orange?

All of the above actually. I frequently yell at people and go to dog parks, I drive recklessly, backwash incessantly, and fantasize about being a fruit (no homo) more regularly than my therapist cares to hear about.

 

Above all though, I was indeed outspoken in my refusal to play for a few teams. And by a few I mean, “Every single non-VHLE team and also Vasteras because Fuck Vasteras™.” 

Thus, the VHL GMs rightfully skipped on ol’ Bjorks. I do appreciate being FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY though!  

[Daniel Janser 2,216]

2 hours ago, JardyB10 said:

, and fantasize about being a fruit (no homo) more regularly than my therapist cares to hear about.

I do appreciate being FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY though!  

I get conflicting signals here

[Trazan 131]

21 hours ago, JardyB10 said:

All of the above actually. I frequently yell at people and go to dog parks, I drive recklessly, backwash incessantly, and fantasize about being a fruit (no homo) more regularly than my therapist cares to hear about.

 

Above all though, I was indeed outspoken in my refusal to play for a few teams. And by a few I mean, “Every single non-VHLE team and also Vasteras because Fuck Vasteras™.” 

Thus, the VHL GMs rightfully skipped on ol’ Bjorks. I do appreciate being FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY though!  

 

Haha, I knew there was a reason 

Quote

"I do appreciate being FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY though!"

Well we're all different, You go girl! 

[JardyB10 4,869]

On 9/19/2023 at 5:09 PM, Daniel Janser said:

I get conflicting signals here

There's nothing gay about bestiality of the anus!