Three Tips From Wayne Gretzky On How To Become An All-Star

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Hey everyone it is Wayne Gretzky here, hockey extraordinaire to tell you everything that you need to know about becoming an All-Star in the VHL. Now unfortunately, there aren't many players out there who can tell you what it takes to make an All-Star game in the VHL as there hasn't been an All-Star game since forever in the VHL, so most of the players who were able to make the VHL All-Star game are dead and buried. Luckily for you though, Wayne Gretzky, the GOAT of GOATs has made several All-Star games in their hockey career, so I can tell you exactly what it takes to get there. Let's get started.

 

Train Better

 

This might seem like a no-brainer but only the very best players in the VHL are going to make it to the All-Star game so you need to be the best, sometimes like no-one else ever was, to enter the All-Star game. Now, I don't quite get how this works because I came from the NHL and in the NHL you improved by just playing hockey more in your spare time. But if you're doing that in the VHL, you are actively wasting time that could be used to improve yourself. Instead of slapping shots into the top corner, slap bars together and make yourself a podcast that relates to the VHL! How does it work? Fuck knows, but it does. 

 

Up Your Attributes As High As Possible

 

Again, this may seem like a no-brainer but some people will sit there and moan about how their 86 scoring player isn't on pace for a HOF career and that is what is wrong with modern society, it thinks it should get all the benefits just because it got most of the way there. However, that's not going to cut it if you want to be an All-Star. Skating? Get it to 99. Puck Handling? You sure as shit should get that to 99. Discipline? You'll not only benefit by getting it to 99 but you will also become Enorama's best friend! 

 

Suggest That They Bring Back The All-Star Game

 

Now as things stand right now, try as hard as you like, improve as much as you like, play as well as you like, you are not becoming an All-Star. Why? Well it's a simple as there is no All-Star process in the VHL right now, so obviously you can't become one at this moment in time. But what you can do is start the discussion on bringing it back. Remember: 99% of VHL suggestions come from people who selfishly want to benefit from their own suggestion, so don't feel guilty about putting up a suggestion for the bringing back of the All-Star game just because you want to be an All-Star. Also the VHL is always changing and always very open to change, at the same time, you should try suggesting other things like expanding the VHL to 24 teams or letting members have two players at once and I'm sure the commissioners would be more than happy to oblige!

 

So there you go, three sure-fire ways to becoming an All-Star, from an All-Star.