Running With the Bulls: Lange Lines

[LucyXpher 1,160]

 

It's another week in the books for the Houston Bulls and the headlines continue to write themselves, especially as they pertain to rookie Czech goalie, Ondra Vencko @Mutti.  Last week, we had an exclusive opportunity to sit down with Vencko to discuss the early season controversy and learn a little about what makes him tick, both on and off the ice.  As he was leaving our studio that very same afternoon, the eclectic puck stopper was assaulted by a man who was apparently shouting at him in German.  This story was first reported by Ben Icio del Torro of the Houston Gossiper who reached out to Vencko for comment after the incident.

 

"It was more of a scare than an attempt on my life," said Vencko, reflecting on the attack.  Concluding his article, del Torro expressed concern about the incident affecting Vencko's game in a negative way, however it seems that perhaps a good slap was exactly what he needed to find his true form.

 

DISCLAIMER: We do not condone violence of any kind!

 

Since the assault, Vencko has had an outstanding week, recording the first shutout of his VHLM career and backstopping the Bulls to a 4-1 victory over the league-leading Philadelphia Reapers just last night.  In the words of legendary Pittsburgh Penguins commentator, Mike Lange, "Slap me silly!"  

 

In all seriousness, perhaps the catharsis and adrenaline rush of the incident was exactly what Vencko needed to get him out of his own head.  Goalies are known to be notoriously cerebral and there's no doubting Vencko's drive to perform. Maybe this was a case of Vencko just gripping the stick a little too tightly, getting lost in the game between the ears and missing the one on the ice in front of him.  Leave the rusty razorblades and hacksaw-backscratchers at home, Mr. Lange, this time a slap seems to have done the trick.  

 

Sticking with Lange-isms, Vencko seems to have reacquired his liquor license and the brews are flowing freely . . . maybe a little too freely.  I spoke with a reputable source yesterday who claimed that Vencko, along with a good number of other Bulls players, have taken up the practice of drinking beers before each game.  It's hard to complain with the team's solid play as of late, but one does wonder if this kind of ritual pre-gaming is what management had in mind when emphasizing preparation.  We reached out to GM @AJW on the matter, but for now he has declined to comment.  It is important to note, however, that while Vencko himself is 22 and of legal age, there are a number of young Bulls who are well below the legal drinking age.  Nathan Ecker @Nathan_8, for example, is still only 16.  

 

Here's another Lange line for ya, "Let's go hunt moose on a Harley!"

 

A batch of pre-game brews might explain why the Bulls have been called "bush league" by some critics this season, though "beer league" is perhaps more apropos.  The Bulls are the VHLM league leaders with 1611 hits through 65 games this season.  Unfortunately, their physical play has at times been reckless, leading to the 2nd most penalty minutes in the league with 713.  Compounding the issue, their penalty kill hasn't been up to snuff, currently sitting 2nd lowest in the league at 76.58%.  They have done well to compensate for a bad PK with the league's best powerplay, clicking at a rate of 25.28%. If the Bulls can reign in the penalty minutes while maintaining their physicality and powerplay success, they'll be in good shape for a long playoff run-- beer bellies not withstanding.  

 

"Oh, Lord Stanley, Lord Stanley! Bring me the brandy!"

 

Another legendary Lange line that the Bulls surely hope to hear adapted should they make it to the Founder's Cup Final.  Oh, Founder, Lord Founder bring them them . . . a pounder of beer?  Yeah, the rhyme still needs work. Recent power rankings have the Bulls a close 2nd to the Las Vegas Aces, while the Reapers, who have scarcely struggled all season, remain a legitimate threat to any team's playoff aspirations.  The Season 92 playoffs are shaping up to be a hotly contested affair with contenders throughout the bracket.  With less than one week left in the regular season, it's time to put the pedal through the floor.

 

"Get in the fast lane, Grandma! The bingo game is ready to roll!"

 

With the number of contenders in the VHLM, Mr. Lange's bingo analogy is a good one.  It really could come down to luck of the draw as teams fight for home ice advantage and favorable first round matchups.  In my view, there are no easy outs and each round promises to feature fantastic battles between the league's best.  Come Wednesday night, we'll know who the Bulls will draw in the first round.  The team is certainly rounding into form and is resembling the contender we were promised at the beginning of the season by Bulls brass.  I, for one, have the Bulls on my bingo card, so let's hope that this young core is ready to run come playoff puck-drop.  

 

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Lauren Lambert for VHL.com

Claimed for 02/18/2024

Edited May 4 by LucyXpher

[AJW 2,109]

In response to Houston Bulls’ pre game and underage drinking, GM AJW had a few comments to share with the press:

 

”I am very aware about the unhealthy habits our team has built throughout the season. We do have younger and older players who share a lot of time together… a lot of activities and quality time together. Drinking a couple brews with the teammates is more of a bonding moment than an unhealthy habit in my eyes.
 

I am also very aware that this is my team, my players, and my say to do whatever the f*** I want! VIVA LA HOUSTON BABY!”

 

GM AJW was later seen opening up another can of Busch Lite post interview with assistant captain Chris Reynolds Jr @Crstats23

[LucyXpher 1,160]

1 hour ago, AJW said:

In response to Houston Bulls’ pre game and underage drinking, GM AJW had a few comments to share with the press:

 

”I am very aware about the unhealthy habits our team has built throughout the season. We do have younger and older players who share a lot of time together… a lot of activities and quality time together. Drinking a couple brews with the teammates is more of a bonding moment than an unhealthy habit in my eyes.
 

I am also very aware that this is my team, my players, and my say to do whatever the f*** I want! VIVA LA HOUSTON BABY!”

 

GM AJW was later seen opening up another can of Busch Lite post interview with assistant captain Chris Reynolds Jr @Crstats23

In other news, chatter is heating up about GM AJW as a frontrunner for GM of the year, and the competition is not even close! 

[Nathan_8 227]

As AGM the Drinking gets the boys buzzing so who gives a F***

 

As Nathan Ecker The beers are great

[Crstats23 338]

Reynolds Jr laughs at the GM’s offer of a Bush lite, “that’s not what payed for me to play hockey” grabs a Miller lite instead