Wayne Gretzky Doesn't Say Hello to Europe, Europe Says Hello To Wayne Gretzky

[MubbleFubbles 1,295]

At this moment, I’m a frustrated god venting to anyone who will listen. I set foot in Europe just a few weeks ago and everyone was ecstatic to see their lord and saviour Wayne Gretzky set foot on the ice for my first two games of the season, but something’s wrong and I can’t quite figure out what it could possibly be. See, ordinarily, when I strike the puck I do so with the fury and fire of a thousand demons and I hear a familiar sound that is the stadium’s way of letting the audience know what they already knew, they’ve just witnessed perfection. Now through the years I’ve heard this sound so many times that the only person who can count how many times I’ve heard it is myself Wayne Gretzky  because I am the only resident of this planet who knows the English name for the amount of goals I’ve scored, and atypically it is that of a horn. However, I scored 12 goals in those two games combined, yet was greeted with no horn, no fanfare, no adulation. At first I thought that this was maybe the European culture of hockey, greeting goals with as little fanfare as possible to be polite to the opposition fans or maybe the horn was like one of those dog whistles where only those with four legs can hear. However, when I asked a teammate where the goal horn was for the last two games, they looked at me confused. I mean I guess I can understand such a reaction, 12 goals in two games and I’m complaining about a horn of all things, I guess I can see the humour in that.

 

But there’s one more thing about the European game that I’ve noticed and it’s something that has still yet to be explained to me. When I have the puck at the end of my stick, I transcend everything anyone has ever known about hockey previously. Since I’ve entered Europe though, the reaction is not one that I’m used to. There are no gasps of amazement, no cheers of adulation, they just utter a word that I’m unfamiliar with. “Pass” is what I assume would be how one would write the word using traditional characters, but it has yet to be explained to me what this foreign word means. In fact, when I enquire, they just yell the word louder which is incredibly frustrating as I can quite clearly hear what they are saying, am just unable to gather what the word could possibly mean. I can only presume this is the new thing that the kids are saying now.