Claimed:Stockholm Ghostbusters: Part 1 [6/6 Final]

[pxzero 65]

There was much rejoicing when the Iron Eagles picked up and moved from Vasteras to Stockholm, mostly from potential draftees who were aware of the stigma placed on the team, but none rejoiced more than the Stockholm Ghostbusters.

 

“Team, cöme here!” Sven, the strapping 6 2” blond shouted. His eyes were glued to the announcement on the cheap black and white tv set with the fuzzy picture. “Löok at this! Another hockey team move to Stockholm!”
“Not the Köttbulle arena?” asked Ted, the American hippie.
"Löoks like it," Sven replied while he tried to fix the antenna. 
"It's about time we had another mystery," a sultry voice chimed in. Both Ted and Sven turned to watch Olga make her way into the room. The former Victoria Secret model liked to make an entrance, and it was always an entrance worth watching. "Without a mystery to solve, it is a lonely life -- bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear... and I so much want to meet some more hockey players."

"Quit thinking with your libido," came the decidedly un-sultry voice of Olaf, the last member of the crew. 

"Oh, but I'm not..." 

"Shh!" interrupted Sven. "I finally göt picture."

A middle aged man in an ugly suit was rambling on a local news channel: 

"...Again, VHL commissioner Jardy has just announced that the Vasteras Iron Eagles are moving to Stockholm to become the Vikings. While the final details have not been confirmed, it is highly likely that the team will be playing in the recently refurbished Köttbulle arena, a source of local legend following the strange disappearance of..." the screen flickered for a second before it cut out.   

"Oh, come on!" cursed Ted, smacking on the side of the TV. "I wanted to hear that."

"Don't you know that story already?" asked Olaf. 

"Whoa guys! I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. Of course I know. I just wanted to watch TV."

Ted assumed a far away look as he stared at the blank screen, thinking about the fate of the last hockey team who ventured into the Köttbulle arena... or his drugs were finally kicking in.

At the same time as Ted began his brain-less adventure, a small group of contractors was finishing work on the second story bleachers.

"You almost done up there?" the foreman called from the pit where the ice would eventually sit. "I'm not paying you overtime to be lazy!"

"Yeah, yeah," whined Franz. He looked up over the guard rail, smiled, and raised a single hand to his boss who turned and walked away to shout at someone else. Franz hated his boss, and his job, and generally everything that kept him away from his trusty bottle of vodka. But vodka was expensive. Just to spite his foreman, Franz worked began to work slower and quickly decided he was due for a break. He took off his dirty gloves and mask and dipped into the hip flask he hid in the bottom of his tool box for emergencies. Just for good measure, he took another deep swig. As the alcohol began to hit, he began to think, maybe his foreman wasn't so bad. After all, it's just a job, and it pays well, and... he heard a loud clang behind him. Franz jumped, trying desperately to hide the flask. His anger welled up again, and he turned with a scowl to face his foreman, who must have come up to give a personal inspection.

"Listen, it's not what you..." the words caught in his throat. All the blood raced away from Franz's face, leaving him pale and staring vacantly. Standing before him wasn't his foreman. Honestly, he couldn't be sure what it was. But he knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, it wasn't human....
 

To be continued.

[Phil 5,133]

[Will 4,662]

Content: 3/3

This was an interesting, yet quite unorthodox article. Nonetheless you obviously have some talent when it comes to writing and creativity. My only real complaint about this is the appearance, which I'll get to down below.
 

Grammar: 2/2

blond = blonde

 

Appearance: 1/1

I gave you full marks because you did add pictures, but it was definitely someone hard to read. The pictures were odd, and there was no title. Also it seemed like it was sort of a wall of text, which is never fun.

 

Overall: 6/6

[James 77]

Claimed