An Open Letter

[OblivionWalker 292]

To the VHL:

 

I write this letter to all of you on a day that holds a lot of meaning to me as well as many others like me. For a long time, I always wondered if I was ever going to find the place that I truly belonged, if indeed such a place even existed.

 

I was always "different". When others liked to be around people, I was more comfortable on my own or with smaller groups. When others were looking forward to gym class, I was looking forward to English class, where I could read when I was finished with my homework or even math class because numbers always made more sense to me than people ever did.

 

Even within the confines of my own family, I was the oddball. The different one. My brother and sisters were never mean, and my parents never treated us differently, but I know it was difficult for my parents to plan parties to celebrate things for me because they knew that I hated having to be the center of attention or in a crowded room. They did their best, for which I will be eternally grateful. I was allowed to be myself, whatever that ended up being and I know others may not have such a luxury, in either the families they were born into or the place in which they might be living at the moment.

 

That feeling of wondering when I'd find where I truly belonged only seemed to deepen once I started to play hockey. Others weren't as kind to me growing up, calling me things like "Frankenstein" when I hit a growth spurt after already being six foot two and it made me wonder what other things they would say to me if they really knew me.

 

So I kept a lot of things hidden away and locked up. I thought that if my family and my close friends knew me, that would be enough. I sequestered myself into my neat little box and bided my time.

 

But the more time I've spent playing, meeting new people and seeing places that seemed beyond my imagination, I've come to a decision.

 

No longer am I content to just stay in my little box.

No longer am I going to hide just because someone else might not be comfortable with who I am.

No longer am I going to hide because there's nothing for me to be ashamed of.

 

In that spirit and on this day that has come to be known as "Coming Out Day", I've decided to make something known about myself to my new friends, my peers and those who will eventually be my peers when I finally reach the VHL proper.

 

My name is Stanislav Kovalenko. I'm a hockey player, a son, a brother, a grandson. . . and I'm gay.

 

I have a boyfriend, whom I love very much and is the best thing in my life and even though there's little corners of my mind that tell me he could do better, all I can do is try my best to make sure that he knows that and never regrets giving me a chance.

 

If there are other people out there who feel right now like I did, like there's no place for them to belong or like there won't be people who will accept them, I can promise you that place exists. Those people are out there waiting to meet you.

 

For me? That place is the VHL.

 

Sincerely,

Slava Kovalenko
 

(word count: 587)

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