Riley Martin is a Hitter

[Thunder 1,168]

There is no doubt about it, Riley Martin is a hitter.  After spending the off season walking the streets of Vancouver looking for fights, drunk on Jameson, Buffalo Trace, and an occasional pappy van winkle when Rip Wheeler is being stupid, Riley Martin has discovered that his big frame, lightning quickness, and high pain threshold can be used to his advantage on the ice.  Going 45 and 0 on the streets, with 45 knockdowns and 18 knockouts, Martin has confidence on the ice to hit with ease and grace, crushing opponents.  As of today, Martin leads the Vancouver Wolves in hits, assists, and points.  Riley is a team leader on the ice and off the ice.

 

GM Frank has been thrilled with Martin’s success so far this season and has promised to continue to bail him out of the jail cells during Martin’s scampers with Rip Wheeler.  Frank has even suggested that the entire team attend Martin’s next court appearance.

 

162 words

[Smarch 3,157]

In Canada fighting in the streets gets you an award, no jail.