Guest Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Position: LW Name: Joakim Surname: Videl Number: 39 Age: 25 Height: 6''4 Weight: 227 lbs Player type: Power-Forward About Videl Joakim Videl. He's new player in this league. Videl is also known as "Rough stuff." He likes to use his body a lot and im pretty sure that he will do this in VHL also. He's one of the biggest players in league. He is 6''4 inches tall and his weight is 227 lbs. Only yesterday Videl said that he wants to play in this league and at waivers Moscow Red Wolwes claimed him and now he is waiting for his first game. Start of his career Joakim started his career in homeland - Sweden. His first team was A.I.K. Videl started as 3rd line player with 10-12 minute playing time, but coaches saw that he is progressing and getting better, so they put him on 2nd line. His first season did not end very well (he was in 3rd line that season) because in 50 games he had only 13 points 4 goals and 9 assists +/-: -11 and he had 78 hits taken. Not bad for 3rd liner, but -11 was dragging him down..Next season Joakim started way better because in first 20 games he already had 9 points and as I said head coach saw that and put Videl on A.I.K 2nd line. Videl ended season with 32 points in 50 games, 13 goals and 19 assists, +/-: +5 and 129 (!) hits. Awesome performance. Videl was named AIK captain next season. His career was just going up and then he received an offer from VHL.. Strenghts and Weaknesses Big Body Videl has very big body and he is very heavy. Of course he is using his big body to deliver big hits, crash the net , stay in front of the goalie and screen him or maybe get some rebound goals. If Videl is on the ice opponents team should be scared of him, because he is a tank. Defense Defensive awareness. Yes, Videl is also very good at defence, he improved a lot if we are comparing his defense plays right now with his defense play with AIK in his first season. Videl is very good at stick checking and of course shot blocking. He also can play in penalty kill. Shooting Videl is not very good at shooting. Probably the reason why he had only 17 goals in 100 games in his time with AIK in Swedish Hockey League. Videl has very good shot power, but he's accuracy is way too bad to score a lot of goals. Everyone hope that Joakim can improve his shooting abbilities in VHL. Discipline Too agressive sometimes. Yes, Videl is very aggressive player, but sometimes its just too much. He likes to stand up for his teammates a lot, but sometimes penalty is given only to Joakim , not to his opponent and he need to be more patient. One time he left penalty box, because A.I.K's best player was hit. Videl received game misconduct and 7 game ban. 512 words Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/15578-claimedjoakim-videl-rookie-profile-final-68/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Anyone will grade this? Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/15578-claimedjoakim-videl-rookie-profile-final-68/#findComment-165654 Share on other sites More sharing options...
pxzero 65 Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 (edited) Overview: 2/2 Hits the word count, you get all the information in there. I would have liked to see his hometown or country of origin in the initial stat line, but it's found in the first paragraph so that's okay.Pros & Cons: 1.5/3 Your pros and cons are great, and well thought out. The problem here is that they're way too short. We asked for 3 each (total 6) at 350-400 words. You've got 2 each (total 4), and only 242 words total. It's honestly just not done, and I can't award full marks for it.Grammar: 1/2 Lots of issues here, I'm afraid. I can tell you're not a native English speaker, so I'll give you a break on the commas and missing articles. I'm going to put them in because they're still mistakes, but that's not what you're losing marks for. I'm not expecting you to have a perfect mastery of the language, however, there is still a standard to keep up. The big issues are these: Capitalization, wrong punctuation, spelling errors. I bolded the ones I docked you for, but overall it adds up to a lot. If you ever have trouble, ask a teammate for help proofreading. Height: 6'4" - You had the markers backwards. Right now, you're saying he's 6 inches tall, +4. He's a new player in this league. - missing article and I'm pretty sure - capitalization, missing apostrophe and at waivers Moscow Red Wolves - spelling! That's your team with 10-12 minutes of playing time - plural and missing article put him on the 2nd line - missing article him down..Next season - second period does not belong and, as I said, his head coach saw that - missing commas, article named the AIK captain next season - missing article an offer from VHL.. - second period doesn't belong Strengths - spelling but his accuracy is way - wrong word Everyone hopes that Joakim - spelling/missing a letter (though this one is a tense thing, that might be due to the language barrier) Too aggressive sometimes. - spelling/missing a letter Yes, Videl is a very aggressive - missing article it's just too much - missing apostrophe (contraction of "it is") but sometimes a penalty is given - missing article he needs to be more patient - missing a letter (also a tense thing) he left the penalty box, - missing article Videl received a game misconduct and a 7 game ban - missing articles Presentation: 1/1 Well formatted, nice pictures.Overall: 5.5/8 I hate giving a grade so low, but you've got to read the rubric. Edited December 22, 2014 by pxzero Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/15578-claimedjoakim-videl-rookie-profile-final-68/#findComment-166244 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 English is not my first language.. ehh Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/15578-claimedjoakim-videl-rookie-profile-final-68/#findComment-166774 Share on other sites More sharing options...
pxzero 65 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Yeah, I know. I docked you the majority of your points in the pros/cons section, because you didn't hit the mark that we set out there. In terms of grammar, I'm really not trying to penalize you for not having a perfect mastery of English. I could definitely tell English isn't your forte, so instead of marking you for everything, I only I got you for things that I deem "lazy errors". I'd recommend running your work through a word processor on the English setting. It'll catch most of these for you. I know the irony of saying "lazy errors" when it takes you effort to write than some of the rest of us, but perhaps a different grader will have a different opinion than me. That's why there are two marks Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/15578-claimedjoakim-videl-rookie-profile-final-68/#findComment-166782 Share on other sites More sharing options...
eaglesfan036 4,603 Posted December 26, 2014 Share Posted December 26, 2014 Overview: 2/2 - Nice background on Mr. Rough Stuff. I enjoyed our short amount of time together on Yukon Pros and Cons: 1.5/3 - Pretty much what pxzero said, I wish you had read the rubric Grammar: 1/2 - Not going to dock any more considering your language barrier. Presentation: 1/1 - Looks good. Overall: 5.5/8 Final: 6/8 Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/15578-claimedjoakim-videl-rookie-profile-final-68/#findComment-167303 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kendrick 4,741 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Claimed Link to comment https://vhlforum.com/topic/15578-claimedjoakim-videl-rookie-profile-final-68/#findComment-167868 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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