Claimed:Thomas Duddy presents: Mathletics [Final 6/6]

[Duddy 159]

Once again we’re back in Ottawa, and this time it’s just Thomas Duddy standing on the podium. There’s nobody else here: just the Austrian winger and a microphone. The thousands of journalists in the audience are waiting eagerly to see what the outspoken Lynx member has to say today. His invitation was rather cryptic; it just read “Thomas Duddy giving a free math lesson today."  Not knowing what to expect, the team of the Amazing News International took up the invitation to present a live stream for the entire world to see. A few moments ago, the Ottawa forward entered the stage and this is what he has to say:

 

“Today I will teach you everything you need to know about everything you probably won’t be able to understand, but I will spell it out slowly for you, and to support my numbers, I brought my favorite human machine hybrid with me to give you the official time and space confirmation. Ladies and Gentlemen, here is the one, the only, Stephen Hawking.“

 

 

“Welcome humans, tonight my dear friend Thomas Duddy will present you one of the most thoughtful displays of Mathematics in all of modern history. Forget the Pythagorean theorem; it’s now time for the Duddy-Mathletics.”

 

“You know they say that all teams are created equal, but if you look at Thomas Duddy and any other VHLMer, you can see that the statement is just not true. Normally when two teams go one on one, each team has a 50/50 chance on winning the game, but when you’re on the ice with Duddy and the Lynx, you automatically only have a 25% chance of beating us. So if I add the 25% you just lost and add them to our 50, we have a 75% of beating your team. Now you add guys like Pablo Escabar and Francis York Morgan to the mix and your 25% chance of winning took another hit. You’d be down to a 10% chance of winning, while our chances rise up to 90%. Now you take the 50% chance of winning if it would just me going against your team and add them to the 90% that our team has when we play with Escabar and Morgan, we got a 140% of winning, while you guys are down to minus 40%. So I ask you VHLM fans, who would you rather be with: a team that satisfies you every night, or do you want to get disappointed over and over again by the lack of puck poise from the other teams? Forget about your ABCs or 1,2,3s this is the gospel you will teach your children to learn and live by. See VHLM? Numbers don’t lie and they spell disaster for you.”

 

And that was the Thomas Duddy show once again, this time proving the world that he is a) way too good at math and b.) he’s friends with Stephen Hawking. We hope you liked this once in a lifetime exclusive math lesson from one of the brightest minds in history.

Edited February 22, 2015 by Duddy

[DollarAndADream 3,356]

Content: 3/3 - I honestly have no idea what to think about what I just read. Good article here. Duddy is quite the character and has good company on his team.

Grammar: 2/2 - Everything's great.

 

"winning if it would just me going against your team" - if it would BE just me going against your team

Appearance: 1/1 - Gooooood.

Overall: 6/6

[Kendrick 4,741]

Claimed