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Legion to Consume Opponents?

 

It is fairly obvious to everyone throughout the VHL that the Legion are not quite having the season most expected them to have. While Toronto maintains that it is largely due to the fact that they have a rough schedule as opposed to the more likely fact that there simply are very few weak teams this season, General Manager Edgar has suggested a very different and quite possibly radical solution. While this was stated in a private team meeting, an insider source felt disturbed enough by the comments to come forward to the media.

 

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Season 42 has not been kind to Sachimo Zoidberg and the Toronto Legion as they find themselves well out of a playoff spot a third of the way into the season.

 

I'm sure by this point, many will be wondering what this controversial strategy actually is. Currently seven points behind the Americans for the third playoff spot out of the North American Conference, frustration is brewing in Toronto. In a quote that has been attributed to their general manager, "this bad schedule may never end. Ten of our next eleven are against the Americans, Express, Titans, and Meute. I believe we can eat these teams." While this has not be confirmed and the individual only willing to reveal this information anonymously, it seems so absurd that it has to be true. Unfortunately little has been revealed on this situation beyond the quote, leaving the rest up to total speculation.

 

One of the most common theories beginning to gain traction is that Dirk Firkley will be the one doing the majority of the consumption of opposition. This season, he has certainly put a beating on players he lines up against but has been largely ineffective otherwise. Although, for some reason, Edgar has not decided to take a second look at the fact that Firkley, who has a whopping two points this year, is leading the team in powerplay minutes, the one thing Firkley has shown he can do is make sure opponents take a beating. It seems like the Legion are looking to take a step forward and direct the rookie forward to actually eat opposing players. With their next game against the Titans, it is suspected that defensive star Don Draper will be targeted.

 

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Titans defenseman Don Draper will have to take extra caution when around Dirk Firkley next game.

 

While this certainly sounds like an issue the VHL has to keep a close eye on, the most popular suggestion that this was simply a misunderstanding and an attempt to stir up the league and create headlines in order to make more money. It has been suggested by those close to Edgar that he actually said beat, laughing at the idea that he would seriously think eating other teams would ever work out well for the Toronto franchise, one of the oldest in the league. Regardless of what happens next, the Legion have a lot of work to do if they want to be in a position to make the playoffs and for the sake of everybody, let's hope it's done the right way.

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Content: 3/3 - A unique literal translation piece with some comedy, but a serious undertone throughout! 450 words was definitely hit, and the work was impeccable. Header was drawing, pictures with captions were easy to interpret, and the piece looked great!

Grammar: 2/2 - No errors I could see here. The punctuation and spelling was top-notch!

Appearance: 1/1 - I love the use of pictures to enhance a story, especially when those pics come with a caption. Well done!

Overall: 6/6

 

Great work, keep it up, insider!

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