Claimed:RGIII Struggling for Ottawa

[eaglesfan036 4,605]

RGIII Struggling for Ottawa

 

     Coming into Season 35, many Ottawa Lynx fans believed that the Gow cousins would be the key players for a championship run. While Robin Gow has performed as expected this season, Robert Gow the Third (RGIII) has been nearly invisible so far this season. Through 26 games, RGIII has posted an abysmal 7 points, with as many assists (4) as Ottawa’s goalie, Szatkowski Jr. In this article, I will discuss many of the conspiracy theories surrounding RGIII’s poor play.

 

The Washington Redskins

 

     With the Redskins version of RGkneeIII struggling this season, many have drawn comparisons to the VHLM RGIII and his struggles. Some extreme conspiracy theorists even believe that Redskins owner Daniel Synder bribed Robert Gow III to play poorly in order to keep the spotlight on the NFL RGIII. While Mr. Synder has been known to throw money at Albert Haynesworth people in the past, his ventures usually wind up hurting his team. If Synder did in fact bribe Robert Gow III to play poorly, his efforts to support the Redskins have backfired due to their current 3-5 record.

 

 

 

Meg

 

     RGIII played for the Minot Gladiators last year, and many conspiracy theorists believe that his allegiances still lie with Minot. Since Minot is seen as a major championship contender this year, perhaps Meg has done something to hinder RGIII’s play in hopes of slowing down the Lynx. No one is sure exactly what Meg may have done to RGIII, but the renowned Doctor Andrews claims that RGIII may be playing through a torn ACL.

 

Jim Gow

 

     Why would Ottawa’s GM want his own player to perform badly? Since Jim’s son is Robin Gow, Jim can have ultimate bragging rights over his brother if Robin turns out to become a better player than RGIII.  Rumors have been circulating that Jim has been handing out steroids to everyone on the Lynx except for RGIII. This would explain the outstanding play of everyone but RGIII on the Lynx so far, as RGIII is too good of a person to ever take performance-enhancing substances. Steroids would also explain the miraculous increase in size of Robin Gow from nearly childlike size to one of the bigger players on the team.

 

 

RGIII

 

     Maybe the problem with RGIII is he is not putting enough work in to improve his play. However, when asked about how RGIII is performing in practice, Ottawa’s GM put heaped praise upon the young forward, “RGIII is one of the most talented goal-scorers I have ever seen. I would compare his play this season to that of Claude Giroux, meaning he is a talented player who for some reason has been nearly invisible.”

 

Call of Duty

 

     As everyone who doesn’t live under a rock knows, the new Call of Duty is coming out this Tuesday, meaning RGIII may be spending a lot of time preparing for the new game. The Gow family has a long tradition of success within Call of Duty MLG tournaments, and RGIII has been practicing to carry on his family’s success. In fact, RGIII’s MLG team this year includes teammates Robin Gow and Mike LongLastName, along with VHL superstar Thomas Landry.

 

Edited November 4, 2013 by eaglesfan036

[Jamie 439]

You play with me that's the issue.

[Doomsday 4,143]

Content: 3/3 - Humorous insights towards the sim's disdain of the young Gow III. Thoroughly enjoyed the jokes at the expense of the Redskins.

 

Grammar: 2/2 - Nothing of notice, well done chap.

 

Appearance: 1/1 - Obligatory due to all the hatred towards the Redskins.

 

Overall: 6/6 - GREAT SUCCESS!

[Fire Tortorella 2,653]

Content: 3/3 - Yeah, RGIII's production has been less than I expected. I know you had the least amount of TPE in the sim of any of Ottawa's forwards, but I figured you'd accidentally get more points than you have now. The team is winning though, so all is well. Better luck next year I guess.

 

Grammar: 2/2 - Just one.

 

his allegiances = his allegiance

 

Appearance: 1/1 - Solid.

 

Overall: 6/6

 

FINAL: 6/6

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