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Delicious makes bold statement


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E'Twaun Delicious made a bold statement to go along with the finishing of New York's season. The rookie winger, who finished with 73 points, a mark that was literally the bare minimum to achieve his goal of being above a point per game, actually guaranteed his Americans would make the playoffs yesterday.

"A lot of people will look at our team and say that we didn't work hard, or we didn't play well, or that we don't deserve to make the playoffs," The enigmatic young winger said. "Well I'll tell you, we did work hard; in fact we worked our asses off. And I'd say we played pretty damn well, because I fucking killed in this year. Bar none, we are a playoff team, to the point where I personally guarantee it'll happen this year. Mark my words."

And yet, a day later, the VHL season officially ended with New York a whopping 40 points behind Seattle for the third playoff spot in the North American Conference. The team did finish with the best record of the non-playoff teams, but that's still not good enough to get them to where Delicious wants them to go. Maybe the Frenchman should lay off the new shroom donuts, offered exclusively at his Queens gourmet donut shop, "I Like Donuts".

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