Claimed:Where will Lenny Face sign? [Final 6/6]

[Edgar 283]

for next week

 

WHERE WILL LENNY FACE SIGN?

 

You underestimated the power of Lenny Face.  The adequately skilled goaltender was drafted with the very last pick of the Season 44 VHLM draft, an indicated that GMs believed he would not develop into a legitimate prospect for their respective teams.  While this is probably true, the potential upside, however small it is, should have resulted in a late 2^nd to mid 3^rd round pick.

Now the real issue arises, the legitimacy of the draft selection.  Lenny Face was indicated as the last pick, however the general manager of the Bratislava Watchmen did not step up on the stage to make his announcement.  Furthermore, he did not have a representative for the team draft Lenny Face, nor did the commissioner make an announcement.  In its current state, Lenny Face is rightfully an undrafted goaltender.

 

Now, the issue arises, who will Lenny Face sign with as an undrafted goaltender with (TO BE DETERMINED) TPE?  There are many, many options.  Actually, there are only eight.  Well… the Saskatoon Wild already have Ariel Weinstein, so they probably aren’t too interested in Face, so there are only seven teams.  The Oslo Storm also have a pretty good goaltender, and a pretty decent back-up, so they probably don’t want another one.  Down to six.  I guess if I’m refusing to acknowledge Bratislava’s claim as legitimate, they aren’t a real option.  Five possible teams.  But… this media spot is more about the process of the draft and the abuse of power by the commissioners, not about Bratislava not wanting me, so I suppose they could still be considered an option.

 

So let’s do a ranking of the possible teams, because that seems to be what people do in these situations:

 

First(A) – Brampton Blades

The Brampton Blades are a very legitimate choice for Lenny Face.  Why you ask?  There acronym is BB, which is pretty close to ‘Bae’.  That is as legitimate of a reason as someone could have, and might be enough to make Lenny Face sign, because surely an awesome sig would follow.

 

First( – Ottawa Lynx

The lynx is the sexist sounding animal in the animal kingdom (and for the record, CLAMS! is the second most erotic sounding).  For anyone who saw Lenny Face’s name prior to Victor being an asshole and ruining my fun, you may know that Lenny Face is all about that sex appeal.

 

First© – Yukon Rush

Gold.  It is in their name (or at least it should be) and Lenny Face wants to become rich.  While he may have to show up to practice and games, surely he can spend the rest of his time digging for gold.  If that doesn’t work, well… I’ll be upset.  Also, Sarah Palin.

 

First(D) – Bern Royals

There colour scheme is purple and gold.  There is a very famous gang in L.A. that I am quite envious of and want to join one day.  Ideally, this team will provide me with many opportunities to get free jerseys that I can wear, and avoid purchasing the expensive L.A. Lakers jerseys.  A brilliant plan, no?

 

First(E) – Bratislava Watchmen

They drafted me.

 

Sixth – Moscow Red Wolves

Just as I don’t acknowledge the legitimacy of the last draft pick in the Season 44 VHLM draft, I also don’t recognize the legitimacy of the Moscow Red Wolves.  They will forever be the Vasteras IK J20, the greatest team to ever grace the VHLM.  Until the move back, this team will not be an option.

 

Also, fuck Putin!

Edited June 28, 2015 by Haliburton

[Victor 10,940]

You consider Sandro Clegane an adequate goaltender but not the infinitely superior Greg? You will pay.

[Tylar 219]

Content: 3/3 - Um interesting yet entertaining. Nothing wrong with that

Grammar: 2/2 - Actually did not catch anything. 

Appearance: 1/1 - Looks good. Nice colors :3

Overall: 6/6

[Kendrick 4,741]

Claimed