Higgins Vital to Team Cowboy's Super Cup Hopes

[Zero 114]

Though he is only the team's 4th line centre (and their designated extra attacker), Bitch Higgins definitely believes that he is central to his Super Cup team's success. "Quite honestly, Cowboy's most savvy move was picking me up at the end of the draft while the other five false kings passed over me," said Higgins in a recent interview.

 

It's simple: when Higgins wins face-offs, his team wins games. In game 1 against Team Streetlight, Higgins lost the 1 face-off he took, but in the following game against Team Dollar, he won his 1 face-off, and his team then won the game in a shootout: something directly correlated to Bitch Higgins' play.

 

"I win face-offs, the team wins games. It's not a coincidence, bro," protests Higgins when numerous reporters suggest that he has absolutely no impact on his team's victories. It got so bad that at one point, Higgins put his hands to his ears and started screaming that he couldn't hear the reporters because he had two Super Cup rings plugging his ears - which is wrong in several ways.

 

Even in the later games, where Higgins has seen more of the circle, his success is directly correlated with his team's success. "Look, I play 4 minutes a game. Let me have this," he says as he leaves the room, likely to go practice his face-offs or the piano or something.

[Higgins 3,618]

I rigged it