Quick Bern Hits

[Bojo 221]

Despite being the lowest ranked playoff team in the VHLM, the Royals are looking good. Recent acquisitions such as Shenanigans and Tsbagsuph-Diks, as well as the top priority in the over 40 TPE waivers list have put Bern's future in a brighter light. All that matters is making it to the playoffs, and Bern looks poised to make a good run by the time their team develops.

 

Bern fans surveyed around the world were asked about how the Royals were so much better than everybody else. Here are the top responses:

 

• We have two of the top three centers in the league with Kol and Kai. A third member following this naming pattern would only raise racial concerns.
• Oslo may be in first, but only because @Merica snuck in some steroids and laxatives. The latter for pleasure.
• Shenanigans is the only person to win a fight in the league. Joe didn't realize the rest of the league was a bunch of sissies.
• Bratislava's computer generated goalies may only vary in size and rebound attributes, but they will still be caught sniffing @Banackock's underwear.
• @sterling may be our GM, but secretly he's a lost prince trying to find his home. The Royals were his way of shouting to the world, but no one would listen.
• Even in the VHLM, @Jala is still blocking less shots as a defender than @Bojo.

[Victor 10,661]

 

 

[Jala 922]

The shot blocks are a curse upon me

[Merica 69]

damn right