Claimed: The AndoRoast

[BluObieZ 1,125]

@punkhippie You wanted this so here you go.

 

Okay… I should probably forewarn everyone before reading this.This is meant to be a roast and nothing but one. Roasts are supposed to be fun and brutally mean. I hope this does not scare new member’s away thinking that we just attack people. I actually will be doing this semi-weekly now since it’s fun.

 

Well hello welcome to yet another my roasts which I feel like the word “roast” is not enough to say what it is. It’s more like an insult fest. A festival of fuckery. Today’s target is my assistant GM Anderson or as some of you know him as Punkhippie which is an odd name if you ask me. Being a Punk you are supposed to be a bit of a badass or at least act like it. Then being a hippie you are supposed to love everything. Honestly I am so ignorant on the site that when I first noticed Punk I thought his name was Pinkhippie. No I am not going blind but it was on my phone on set. So now I just refer to him as pink.

 

But that’s not insulting enough or at all. By this many words I was already cutting deep on DT. So let me get this started. When I picture Anderson I envision a fat warlock motherfucker in his mom’s basement yelling up to her that he is hungry and what not. Oh and I’m not talking about a little overweight I am talking a four, five hundred pounds soaking wet… Good god a horrible image just flashed in my head.

 

Everytime time Anderson get called fat he gets so depressed he cuts himself… a slice of cake. I mean come on we all think he is a fat loser, even if you won’t admit it. He looks like a person that would sell his soul for a BigMac. Fat people are always getting in the way. It’s a known fact that behind every fat person there is a thin and attractive person. So Anderson get the fuck out the way.

 

Throughout the years Anderson has been around with multiple accounts with multiple players. Hell he was the first ever person to have a project player two player even before the league needed two. I guess the point I am trying to make is that there are multiple faces of Anderson, the least thing he can do is make one good looking. I tend to look down on people like Anderson. You know being fat, ugly and not being able to find their niche in the world. I’m used to seeing them, but usually have to pay admission to do so. I mean he is so ugly that he scared the crap out of the toilet. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?

 

When Anderson was born the doctor came into the waiting room and said “I’m sorry, I’ve tried everything that I can do but he pulled through” If everyone was like you, people would lose faith in the human race. But don’t get all huffy and puffy with these harsh words. Remember save your breath, you need to blow up your date later.

 

Truth be told Anderson is good guy, he’s good to poke fun at, and someone to look at and thank fuck you are not him. He is about as useful as a bucket without a bottom. But he as has something going for him. He is smart, Sesame Street smart. His psychiatrist told him that he was crazy. He said he wanted a second opinion. So the psychiatrist told him that he was ugly. I mean his face must look like it caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer. If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents. He is so ugly that when he looks in the mirror that his reflection walked away.

 

Anderson was made in a lab. A test tube baby if you want to be specific. It’s the only way you can explain his multiple personalities. He may have been made in a lab with scientist and shit looking over him but god damn he was a failed experiment they failed to throw away. Anderson is the proof to us all that evolution can go in reverse.

 

Hey Anderson while you sit there crying about how I ripped into you. You have something on your chin… no, the third one down bro. But enough of the fat jokes and little jabs. I am not known as a jealous man. But! I find myself growing more and more jealous of the people that never met you.

 

Remember back when Anderson had like 10+ accounts and players? It’s like he is so fake that he makes Barbie jealous. Anderson is living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk. Ordinarily people live and learn. Anderson just lives. But I think I should end this now because… well I don’t want to depress Anderson or at least one of his personalities. I’ll end this it on this point. If you believe that we all sprung from apes, then Anderson didn’t spring far enough. Thank you and goodnight (mic drop)

 

@tfong you’re next!

 

Looking for people who want to be roasted by me. I would like to do this semi-weekly because I believe this is fun. You know you all watched the comedy central roasts. Post below if you want to be roasted. Also check out "The Roast of DT" here at The Roast of DT

Edited May 22, 2017 by BobertZ

[Gudnason 607]

Done so fast. Not much thought put into it eh?

 

[Gudnason 607]

Lol pretty funny actually. But DT's was better.

 

[BluObieZ 1,125]

33 minutes ago, punkhippie said:

Lol pretty funny actually. But DT's was better.

 

I agree. I had extra motivation.