Claimed: LPLL's uninformed dispersal mock draft [1/2]

[FacePuncher 1,343]

Hey guys, its your favorite enforcer from the GOMHL, Luc-Pierre Lespineau-Lebrunette. Now, fun fact, I have no clue what goes on in this league, but i know that you get extra TPE if you make a media spot about this dispersal draft. So here I am, making a mock draft abaout all this crap even though i know jack shit about what is really going on. I would go and look but its almost 1 AM as im typing this, i have a final in 8 hours, and I've already done a fair bit of work to look at the S58 rookie draft and all the available players in the Dispersal draft, so lets get into the action.

 

Round One

1.   NEW YORK AMERICANS: (S57) C - Chase Keller, TPE: 423

I think this is a no brainer. The number one overall pick from last year would obviously be a great add to any team, but from what I understand he has beef with one or more of the GMs here so I suppose this pick depends on if he likes the GM or not?

2.  SEATTLE BEARS: (S54) C - Shawn Gretzky, TPE: 607

So, we all know TheLastOlympian sucks. SADLY the league will have to deal with him being the best option after Keller in the expansion draft. The guy who disgraces The Great One's name will likely be going to Seattle, which could be a great fit for both parties

3.  HC DAVOS DYNAMO: (S57) G - Shawn Brodeur, TPE: 324

TLO's OTHER player is also in his draft. So it just goes to show you that TLO is an LR cancer, he killed not one, but TWO teams this season. What a dick, am i right? Anyways, I'm not sure if Davos needs a goalie right now, but Brodeur is objectively a better option than anyone else left

4.  TORONTO LEGION: (S53) C - Marc-Alexandre Leblanc, TPE: 537

After this i think the draft gets a little murky. My pick would be Leblanc here, but depending on team needs, how much they like which user, and what direction the team is going in, i could see the next three moving about in any order.

5. QUEBEC CITY MEUTE: (S53) RW - Motherfucker Sharpe, TPE: 504

I remember this Motherfucker back when I still cared about the VHL. Really makes me wonder how long i have been away haha, it felt like a long time but I suppose not if these doods are still in the league. Anyway, he gets taken here

6. CALGARY WRANGLERS: S58 COL 1st

This pick at 5th overall should net a nice prospect for whoever takes it, which is why i'm not so sure that it falls this low. But this is the absolute lowest it will go. If Calgary passes on this then they are really dumb

7. RIGA REIGN: (S55) C - Jake Scheel, TPE: 254

IDK who this is but 254 TPE isn't a bad stopgap i suppose

8. HELSINKI TITANS: S58 HSK 1st

This was another one i wasn't really sure on. I looked into the S8 draft class and this COULD be a decent pick, or could not be. So this one I'm not sure if it'll pay off for them, but I just thought it would be funny if Helsinki selected their own pick in this dispersal draft.

 

Round Two

9.  HELSINKI TITANS: (S56) RW - The Process, TPE: 204

The Process. SMH. Like, what are you going for with this name? "Hey guys, I'm just like the process, I destroy a team, make everyone injury prone, and cause a team to tank for several years just so I can be a mediocre team in a weak conference." Real strong name there...

10.  RIGA REIGN: (S54) RW - JourneyMan, TPE: 195

This is eaglesfan i think. U suk!

11.  CALGARY WRANGLERS: S58 COL 2nd

Another pick that I am not sure about. Cologne 2nd likely wont be a top pick, but it has a chance of being a guy like the two picked above this one. If they can get a guy like that, It would be a solid pick, but do they wanna take that risk?

12.  QUEBEC CITY MEUTE: (S53) LW - Jakub Pastrnak, TPE: 187

After this is really just inactives. Nothing worth much over here, so just making picks for the sake of it.

13.  TORONTO LEGION: (S55) C - Corey Klopfenstein, TPE: 157

14.  HC DAVOS DYNAMO: (S56) D - Emil Martinov, TPE: 128

15.  SEATTLE BEARS: (S56) G - Brienne O'Tarth, TPE: 128

16.   NEW YORK AMERICANS: (S55) D - Lyle Smallwood, TPE: 123

 

Round Three

17.   NEW YORK AMERICANS: (S56) D - Ho Lee Fook, TPE: 113

9/10 name. Not bad, but it's got nothing on Dat Ho-Sang

18.  SEATTLE BEARS: (S56) D - Aeschylus Jigglejawns cxxxviii, TPE: 108

This is a recreate, right? No way that Jigglejawns who I traded for when I was in charge of Saskatoon is still not auto-retired

19.  HC DAVOS DYNAMO: (S53) - LW - Apollo Aho, TPE: 105

I remember this dood

20.  TORONTO LEGION: (S56) D - Jabby McFulloschmidt, TPE: 71

I remember his relative Stabby when I first joined VHL. He was a Sasky legend

21. QUEBEC CITY MEUTE: (S56) G - Cassius Volcatius, TPE: 36

22. CALGARY WRANGLERS: (S56) D - Pradeep Padmanabhan, TPE: 30

This reminded me of that fantasy football show The League because of the Shiva. speaking of fantasy football, my team sucked this year. Thanks for getting hurt, ARob. This also made me think of formx, sounds like te kinda dumb name he would make

23. RIGA REIGN: (S56) RW - Vladimir Zhelezkin, TPE: 30

24. HELSINKI TITANS: (S55) RW - Nino Gisler, TPE: 30

 

Round Four

25.  HELSINKI TITANS: S58 COL 3rd

There wont even be enough actives in the S58 draft for this to be a player lel.

26.  RIGA REIGN: S58 CGY 3rd

 

Ok so yeah, this is my mock draft of the dispersal draft. Its over 1000 words so i guess i'll claim it for 2 weeks of PTs and +2 extra TPE. Idk how it works exactly but, yeah. cya.

[TheLastOlympian07 2,388]

fite me irl

[FacePuncher 1,343]

1 minute ago, TheLastOlympian07 said:

fite me irl

come at me boi

[TheLastOlympian07 2,388]

Review

Good stuff Dwyer, its nice to see you back. Hope you enjoy yourself more this time. This was well written and was one of the longer mock drafts done that I've seen. you actually went through every pick lol.