Philadelphia Reapers beat report: Team Building

[DMaximus 1,046]

Since the completion of their inaugural draft, the GM of the VHLM expansion team Philadelphia Reapers, BladeMaiden, has thoughtfully organized team building activities for her newly drafted players. This beat reporter is hearing things may have gone awry during a recent activity. What was intended to be a light-hearted, charming event devolved into a heated argument among teammates.

The planned event was a “cuteness showdown.” Each player was instructed to showcase a personal item that they found adorable. An anonymous source, who asked not to be revealed due to the sensitive nature of the issue, provided an inside report of the event.

Goalie Wendy “Kandee” Cane had an endearing picture of her dog emulating owner Wendy by posing as a goalie in between the pipes.

GM BladeMaiden showed off an equally adorable picture of her dog patiently waiting to eat a treat.

LW, Hans Gruber showed a picture of his newborn baby daughter. Everyone agreed that nothing could possibly be cuter than Hans’ baby daughter and the winner was declared.

 

Surprisingly, this is when things took a turn for the worse. C, Walter Clements accused Hans Gruber of cheating in the cuteness showdown. He yelled “Human babies are off limits in cuteness contests! Everyone knows that! You can’t show a picture of your beautiful newborn baby because of course that’s the cutest thing ever! It’s unfair to us non-baby makers!” Hans immediately took exception to being called out and got right in the face of Walter and said “if you say another word about my daughter, it will be your last.” Thankfully D, Charlie Paddywagon and RW, Mikko Aaltonen stepped in between the two arguing players to separate them and defuse the situation.

 

BladeMaiden helped salvage the evening with some parting words of encouragement echoed by the entire Reaper organization and likely the entire VHL.

Congratulations to Hans Gruber (@TheFlash) on your newborn daughter!

Edited February 21, 2019 by DMaximus
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[BladeMaiden 1,807]

@DMaximus They don’t have a level of like high enough to decribe how I feel about this article. It was so great!