Edwin Encarnacion faces discipline over "Breaking The Gentleman's Code"

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The hockey world found themselves disgusted today at the revelations that have come out of the Cologne Express locker room. A heated argument developed between the former baseball star turned hockey shit Edwin Encarnacion and a training assistant after the training assistant had failed to control a pass that Encarnacion sent his way. Despite the fact that the training assistant was just 10 feet away from Encarnacion, as opposed to the skybox that Encarnacion had sent his “pass” crashing through, Encarnacion called the training assistant a “piece of garbage”.

 

This got to the training assistant who, in response, decided to break down every single flaw in Encarnacion’s game. 10 hours after the training assistant had started his rant, he finally ended it with calling Encarnacion “The Ja’Marcus Russell of Hockey; Fat, talentless and a complete dick to boot”. This enraged Encarnacion to no end and led to him breaking “The Gentleman’s Code”.

 

Alexander Schneider’s statement reads as follows:

 

“We are absolutely disgusted by the behaviour of Edwin Encarnacion and have decided to transfer whatever of his pay he has yet to set on fire for the rest of the season to the training assistant. We are taught from birth that we cannot break one simple rule; The Gentleman’s Code. Angry or not, we simply cannot be allowing Edwin to fart in the general direction of another man’s balls. That’s not cool.”