Shackleford Visits Moscow, Says Swedish Girls are Hotter Than Russian Ones

[Gustav 6,428]

MALMO--Some thought the Nighthawks reached for Rusty Shackleford in the second round, but he's very proud to say that, with his selection at 17th overall in the VHL Entry Draft on Saturday, he's the first active, shitposting, defensive defenseman to ever be picked up by the team in the draft. 

 

Oh, wait...

 

Anyway, Shackleford recently released a statement containing an overview of every expansion city, VHL and VHLM, including his unsolicited opinion of the women of each city. Though he seemed to be a fan of the ladies in Malmo, he neglected to mention those of other VHL cities for comparison. It follows, then, that the media quickly caught up to him, and asked what he thought. Instead of answering for every VHL city, (a visibly drunk) Shackleford instead elected to go on a ten-minute-long, less-than-kind rant about Moscow, in which he made it more than clear that Malmo's women are indeed more appealing. 

 

At least one teammate agreed with him on the spot. "That's why I signed with this team," said Vaydar Odinsson. "As soon as I heard this team was interested, I bought my plane ticket and met [GM Christopher] Miller for lunch. Mind you, he wasn't expecting me, but I met him anyway. I know my Swedish girls, and they don't call me The Boobmaster for nothing." 

 

Odinsson and Shackleford decided to end the interview at this point, as they had plans at a local strip club and were opposed to the possibility of being late.