Greene Smoking Green? Odd Behavior Prompts Investigation

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Scott Greene’s Odd Behavior During Game Investigagted

By Billy Maltball

May 27th, 2019

 

The Mississauga Hounds lost to the Ottawa Lynx 5-3 on Sunday, May 27th. The Hounds played well, but just weren’t able to hold off the Ottawa players. One player for the Hounds, Scott Greene, seemed particularly odd. Before the game, he could be seen laughing while looking at his hand for five minutes and professing his love for Phish and Grateful Dead. His odd behavior continued during the game, at one point approaching the referee and trying to order a ridiculous amount of food.

 

“He skated up to me, during play mind you, and proceeded to order the largest amount of food I’ve ever heard. I remember it clearly! He ordered two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda. I don’t know how anyone would ever be able to eat that much. His eyes were huge, and he seemed sweaty. I don’t know what was wrong with him!”

 

After checking with the Hounds Front Office, we managed to get to the bottom of this odd report. Greene was seen drinking from a tye-dyed water bottle belonging to Hounds GM Jerry Garcia. When asked about what might have been in the water bottle, Garcia proceeded to eat the sandwich he had in front of him. After waiting 30 minutes, Garcia replied “Sorry, man. I can’t hear you, this sandwich is too good.”

 

Greene was asked to report to a local medical facility so he may be inspected by a doctor. We will update this story as it develops.