Seattle's Locker Room Inflation! Scott Greene Really a Balloon!

[DoktorFunk 810]

 

Scott Greene of the Seattle Bears has not been Scott Greene, apparently. Reports came out of the Seattle locker room recently that Greene was discovered to be an inflatable balloon dressed in hockey gear. The balloon has been playing for Greene since the beginning of Season 70. We asked Seattle’s GM about the situation. “Greene has been on vacation and we haven’t been able to get in touch with him,” says Banackock. “He still managed to score some points, though, so it hasn’t been all bad. We’re going to keep the balloon on the team until Greene returns. I honestly have no idea when that will be, though. He’s been kidnapped in Peru by a cartel, and they want quite a bit of money to get him back.”

 

Banackock has been notoriously stingey with paying his player’s ransoms over the years, but Greene is seen to be Seattle’s essential center. If Bana refuses to pay, the league will be forced to allow the balloon to play for Greene for the remainder of the season.