Greene in Isolation

[DoktorFunk 810]

Due to the current coronavirus epidemic, drastic measures have been taken to make sure that none of the players are exposed. But, despite a general quarantine and other various restrictions that the Victory Hockey League has put in place, Scott Greene of the Seattle Bears has placed himself under a self-imposed isolation. We caught up with Greene via video chat to discuss his drastic measures. Bedraggled, and looking like he hasn't shaved in years, Greene said the following:

 

"I've been controlling my player with a video game controller since the beginning of the season. I really don''t want to get exposed to the virus because it might shorten my career overall. I want to keep playing hockey until I die, and I really don't want that to happen. The person that you see on the ice is actually a minor league player that I've installed an advanced microchip into. He's pretty good, but a couple more Cybernetic enhancements will make him truly great."