Kramerev Press Conference

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Kosmo Kramerev Calls Press Conference

 

Alan Benes - TNS - THE NETWORK OF SPORTS

 

Today, newly-minuted San Diego Marlin Kosmo Kramerev called a press conference. Trademark cigar in hand, Kramerev strode out to the podium with simultaneously cocky and precarious gait that reporters are beginning to know well.

 

Stepping up to the podium, Kramerev uttered a short statement:

 

"He dunks," Kramerev said.

 

The gathered press murmured, and before any could put together a question in response, Kramerev spoke again.

 

"Joe DiMaggio dunks his donuts."

 

Reporter Lloyd Braun, with Netsports, asked, "You mean the baseball player? The dead baseball player."

 

Kramerev nodded and pointed enthusiastically at Braun. 

 

"You got it. The Yankee Clipper. He dunks."

 

An uncomfortable hush took the media scrum, before Kramerev declared, "No questions."

 

Striding away from the podium, Kramerev paused to point and wink at a camera before leaving the room.

 

Marlins fans would be well-advised to expect more of these sorts of events. If reports from Kramerev's exploits in Europe are to be believed, pointless press conferences are on the milder side of his peculiarities.

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Lloyd Braun was subsequently removed from the press conference after suggesting everyone wear name tags.