Two Thousand Two Hundred and Five

[Mongoose87 384]

Hello, I am Otis Otterson. Please join me as I take you through a fascinating journey, exploring the stories that other outlets don't discuss, because they don't matter.

 

2205. That's the number of goals scored in the VHLM this recently capped off season. That may seem like an impressive number, and perhaps it is, but it certainly does not tell the whole story. Indeed, it omits an incredibly troubling trend.

 

Despite this impressive total, S71 represented an all-time low in silly goal celebrations, with a mere 15 silly celebrations having be made throughout the entire season. That's a disappointing rate of  147 goals per silly celebration. Compare to S70, when VHLM players were silly every 131 goals, S69, when players were silly every 115 goals, or even S65, when VHLM players were silly every 106 goals, doubly impressive, since silly mathematicians agree that 106 is the silliest number.

 

What is the reason for this sudden decline in silly scoring? As of now, experts are split. A study by Devry University's department of sports humor suggests the cause is a lack of commitment to on-ice humor by front offices. However, a study by the University of Phoenix said "No."

 

Until experts are able to pinpoint a cause, one thing seems certain - it's less blowing raspberries on your goaltender's mask, and more arm-pumps and high fives in the immediate future.

 

Edited May 16, 2020 by Mongoose87