Gregg Stallion's Vow of Sobriety Lasts 16 Hours

[SweatyBeaver 132]

Last week a disturbing video was leaked by an anonymous source that showed an extremely drunk Gregg Stallion causing thousands of dollars in property damage as well as taking the lives of 327 Rabbits at the Houston Rabbit Sanctuary. Stallion’s draft status tanked as most VHLM Gms were too afraid to draft the volatile forward despite his upside leading him to fall all the way into the middle of the 2^nd round.

 

Stallion refused to talk to reporters who were wanting to interview him after the draft and spent the week in the midst of a massive legal battle as P.E.T.A. sued him for 2.8 Million dollars ($8,562 per rabbit life taken.) In the end Stallion donated 1 million dollars to the questionable organization and came to a settlement as long as Stallion addressed his alcohol problem.

 

“I am committed to be sober, in honour of the countless Rabbit lives lost, and in order to better myself to be a better man to society.” Stallion said at his first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting that was televised on ESPN 3. “It is my desire to change for the better and I am going to fight my desire to drink so much alcohol…Whisky, Rum, Gin…Rum again” Stallion said as he visibly drifted away in thought fantasizing about the alcohol he could drink.

 

After the meeting Stallion packed his belongings to move to somewhere that would help him in his commitment to sobriety, unfortunately for Stallion he was drafted by the Las Vegas Aces and was moving to Sin City USA. Reports say that Stallion got in an Uber and drove past approximately 120 bars and night clubs before caving to temptation and bursting through the car window and going to the closest bar. Stallion was later spotted skinny dipping in the Bellagio fountain claiming ‘He was 150% totally sober and not drunk.’

 

 

Edited May 25, 2020 by SweatyBeaver