The Art of War (Jiggly Gumballs Edition)

[JigglyGumballs 1,056]

“Begin by seizing something which your opponent holds dear; then he will be amenable to your will.” - Sun Tzu

 

A hockey player's main weapons are his stick and skates, thus these are the things they hold dear. Without them, the player is useless in the icy battlefield of the rink. In my experience in prank warfare, targeting these items are some of the oldest tricks in the book. Though for proper effectiveness, stealth and proficiency is required. 

 

It is preferable if the locker room is empty, if not you must have allied who are willing to participate in this strategy. Then you must act swift like lightning. The stick must be untapped and filled with water then taped in the same way again to prevent suspicion. The skates must have only one clear layer of tape. For you must keep the tampering hidden. 

 

It is key to not be caught off guard, For it can be a fatal blow to your operation. A true strategist in the art of prank warfare should know their target's behaviors and routines. Wars are always won with information. Without the information collected, it would be a lost cause. Once the mission is complete, it is even more important to leave without a trace. Leaving tracks could give the enemy suspicion of tampering, so one must leave the room as it was in the beginning.

 

To push for true effectiveness, it is recommended to tamper with all of the sticks in the enemy's possession. For it will prove that they are unable to do anything but to bend to your will. If everything is executed perfectly. Then the battle would be won. Useless effort would be exerted lifting and using the stick, and the skates would render the enemy immobile and open for attack.

"The greatest victory is that which requires no battle." - Sun Tzu.

 

A victory that requires no battle, or effort in this form of prank warfare is the simple bottle of water. You needn't be swift, only silent. A simple unscrewing of the cap and the enemy's desperation for replenishing bodily fluid is all that is needed for victory. Once the battle is won, it is best to offer another bottle as a sign of reconciliation. However, a true master will use this as a crushing defeat. The second blow will have an already demoralized enemy defeated. If not, the anger of revenge can be used in the battlefields of the rink. Providing a one man army who can challenge all those who oppose. It is also of best interest to target your entire team as your enemies in the field. Prank warfare is of good intention and not made to single one out.

 

 Prank warfare can be rewarding, but those you have won against will rise up against you in retaliation. For that one must be prepared beforehand to prevent such retaliatory advances from taking place. One must also be aware of the same strategies used in battle, for it can be effective against the initial user as well. Caution is of utmost importance, for it will prepare you for the long war ahead. However in the end of the day, bygones be bygones, and those who were once enemies may share a drink celebrating the battles they fought. 

 

 

Note: This is a bit different for this weeks article lol (and no this part isn't me just pushing for 500 words the article is already above I think). But I think it would be interesting to detail my locker room shenanigans in a sort of fun, poetic (if you even call it that XD) sort of way with this new series. Wiggles, Wobbles, and Jiggles will be back but this week's article is a nice change from the usual.