Gregg Stallion Spends the Entire Offseason Passed out Drunk

[SweatyBeaver 132]

The quiet morning in Brussels was quickly interrupted by a the sounds of an ambulance racing through the streets and towards to local bar ‘The Saturated Camel.’ “He’s been down here for days!” Lincoln Moritz, the owner told the paramedics as he ushered them into the basement. “I don’t know how I didn’t notice him but I think he was hiding and spent an entire night drinking my whisky supply. The concerned paramedics rounded the corner only to breath out a sigh of relief and let out a chuckle. “Oh, its just Gregg, leave him alone he will be back to normal eventually.”

 

 

It appears that Mr. Stallion after finishing his latest VHL season had quite the night at ‘The Saturated Camel.’ Forensic scientists have estimated that he has been in his comatose state for about a week with no signs of awakening soon. “He is a medical marvel.” Dr. Francis ‘Aspirin’ Glibb told his group of medical students as they used Stallion’s sprawled out body to simulate caring for a comatose patient.

 

 

Stallion had hoped to spend the offseason in intensive training to prepare for his sophomore VHL season but as soon as he entered the Camel it became clear that he would rather have a night drinking 4x the livable alcohol dosage than actually practice. Stallion’s Vancouver Wolves teammates were a little mad about his lack of commitment but ultimately they didn’t blame him and were instead hoping that he would wake up before the next season started.

 

-Marc Legrosse, The Belgian Bugle

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