Claimed:Team Building Like You've Never Seen

[Phil 5,119]

Team Building Like You've Never Seen

 

 

Riga is a team known for its activity. It was widely stated all through Season 37 and 38 that they had the most active team in the VHL. Every single member is involved in the league, not just in the locker-room, but as writers, blog artists etc within the VHL community. Therefore it is really no surprise that they have the oddest form of team building exercises in the VHL. I recently asked the budding star defenseman Phil Villeneuve if he could provide an example of one of the most peculiar exercises that they have done. He was kind enough to write out his answer for us here at VHL.com. Below is an excerpt from that answer:

 

What with the VHL being an international league, we get players from all over. This creates a unique opportunity to explore different cultures and customs. What Mike [szatkowski, Riga GM] loves to do is get the team on a plane and fly us to one of our homelands. It is up to the player who has 'home ice advantage', (as we call it) to decide where to go. This gives us a great way of seeing the world through more than hotels and ice rinks. Did I mention that we can bring our families?

 

So after being eliminated from the playoffs and my bizarre golfing outing with Smalling, Mike picked me to lead us somewhere in Britain. This is another reason I love this idea. The rookies and sophomores, 'small fish', if you will, get a chance to take the lead. It's also great to interact with the families, wife, girlfriends, kids of the other players. It really establishes a great sense of connectivity and camaraderie. 

 

I decided to take everyone to Alton Towers, the famous Amusement Park in Britain. It's got something for everyone there, young and old alike. So the team buses zipped along the English countryside towards our destination.

 

Not exactly the most typical of British attractions

 

Now, there are certain combinations of words that fire the imagination, and others that don't. For all you know, Molford Hall might be the most magical place on earth, with chocolate lakes and a giraffe rodeo, but you aren't going to make a detour based on the name, so the sign on the hard shoulder zips by, ignored. Spot the words 'Eden Ostrich World' however, and you're cutting left across traffic, rescheduling your plans for the afternoon, and excitedly jiggling about in your seat like a five-year old full of Sunny Delight. 

 

It was that sign that made me say 'Bollocks to Alton Towers'. And so we found ourselves 20 minutes later at the entrance to a much more British-kind-of-day-out. 

 

Anyone with a rudimentary grasp of zoology will confirm that ostriches are the funniest animals on the planet. Freud can stick to his theories on humour wherever he fancies - there's just something inherently comic about a bird that is as big as a person. 

 

Anticipation of hilarious man-to-bird confrontation was high as we paid the 40p for the ostrich feed. But the secret of comedy is, of course, timing. You aren't presented with the ostriches straight away. There are many activities for the kids and adults alike to participate in. We had a race through a maze of chicken wire (talk about making use of what you've got). There were rope slides, tyre swings, go-karts - the type of unsupervised playground equipment you thought was made illegal 20 years ago. 

 

 

 

Best of all is a dangerous-looking combine harvester brooding rustily in the corner of the farmyard with tempting steps and ride-on appeal. 'Please supervise your children at all times' reads a legally cautious note screwed to its side. Bah! This is just the sort of make-shift climbing frame on which decades of British have grazed their knees. Who could begrudge the next generation the chance to learn from sharp experience?

 

The next part involved gazing upon the massive ostrich eggs. Of course, Brennan [McQueen] asked how long it would take to boil one. Surprisingly, the lovely lad at the information bureau replied 40 minutes would suffice. 

 

In the next hut there are the ostrich chicks, however they are all in the same enclosure as the ducklings and goslings, making it much more entertaining. You are feeding a fluffy yellow mallard when this doe-eyed, crew-cut thing the size of a small dog muscles its way in to get some nibbles. [Robin] Gow grew so attached to one of them that when we went to move on he tightly hugged the ostrich he had named Olaf goodbye, literally squeezing the shit out of him forcing him to retreat back to the bus to change his shirt. Robert [GowIII] laugh the loudest - and longest. Within the minute, it got more serious. 

 

The hut with the adult ostriches was very large. The males look like the ones seen in Disney's Fantasia while females and younger ones look brown and scruffy, like Ken Dodd's head stuck on a stick.

 

Ken Dodd, an English comedian, singer-songwriter

 

The birds' enormous eyes and binocular vision means they are constantly tilting their heads to focus on you. They seem fascinated and mystified by you. It's hard not to be flattered by it. 

What could be more exaggeratedly British than this high-octane version of feeding the ducks? We reveled in it. We explored the edges of our fears. As Malcom [spud] will testify to, one of the most stressful experiences a human being can go through, next to bereavement, divorce, and moving house while it's on fire, is facing an ostrich who's worked out that the food's coming from the little paper bag in your hand. It's all part of the game. 

 

 

 

I must admit, I have never before seen or heard about anything HALF as ludicrous as this team-bonding exercise but it apparently works. A poll done by VHL.com showed that Riga is the happiest team, has the most sense of belonging, and that moral is highest by almost two-fold. Whatever Mr Szatkowski's is doing over there - he should keep it up. 

 

 

[Guest Svoboda_3]

Content: 3/3

1,019 words. I am hoping that this might be a mini-series cause I enjoyed this a lot. I thought the topic was creative and the writing was outstanding.

Grammar: 2/2

Minor things.

 

etc = etc.

, kids = and kids

he = he,

laugh = laughed

Whatever Mr Szatkowski's is = Whatever Mr. Szatkowski is

Appearance: 1/1

Looked great.

Overall: 6/6

[Smarch 3,153]

Claimed