The Giant Runs for President

[DoktorFunk 810]

Toronto, Ontario

 

 

 

Victory Hockey League In Shock as Jolly Greene Giant Announces US Presidential Campaign

 

The world was shocked today when Jolly Greene Giant, the rookie defenseman from the Toronto Legion stated that they would like to announce that they are running for president. This is an unprecedented statement from a sports player of any kind, much less a player of Jolly Greene Giant's  renown. When asked for comment, Jolly Greene Giant had this to say: "Ho ho, ho ho!"

 

Backlash against this statement is quite understandable. Jimmy Spyro of the Vancouver Wolves says “He has no business being in politics, unless he joins the Green Party,” and continues to say "This is career suicide.” The reason they feel this way is reasonable, as the comments made by Jolly Greene Giant are somewhat at odds with the rest of the Victory Hockey League, and it would be difficult for him to play hockey AND be president.

 

Jolly Greene Giant isn’t without his supporters, however. Plenty of his friends have expressed their excitement for him. Frank Funk, Jr. of the Toronto Legion is one of their most prominent supporters, and has even gone as far as joining Jolly Greene Giant on stage at a recent press conference to defend them. “You're looking at the next US President," says Funk. “Make America Greene Again!” 

 

This kind of statement is the type that will continue to draw attention to Jolly Greene Giant. They’re already quite the high-profile player on the Toronto Legion and there are those that would say no publicity is bad publicity. 

 

However, these comments have received their fair share of backlash from even the higher-ups in the Victory Hockey League community. One of the highest profile dissenters of the Board of Governors, GustavMattias, had this to say about the comments: “No comment.”

 

Jolly Greene Giant responded by saying “I understand why they had to react this way. I really do. But I think he missed the broader context of what I said. When I say ‘Ho Ho', I say it for the betterment of the entire Victory Hockey League and to call attention to the growing dissatisfaction that is addressed in what I said. Gustav would do well to remember that.
 

Going against someone as powerful as Gustav could be a big mistake for Jolly Greene Giant, but, if what they say is true, the Giant sees themselves as a RotY Candidate and a Presidential Candidate. Sometimes these movements gain traction, but more often than not, they fizzle out. We have no doubt that Jolly Greene Giant has the best of intentions, but the way that they’ve chosen to express it has certainly ruffled some feathers. 

 

If the Giant wasn’t as skilled as they are, they might not have chosen to speak up the way that they have. But, as it is, the Victory Hockey League may not be able to tolerate one of it’s brightest stars speaking up in this manner. Punishment may not be far behind. We will keep you posted as this story develops.

[RomanesEuntDomus 442]

Review

 

Haha that was a really fun read. I almost wish it would have been a bite more outlandish but maybe I'm just not taking JGG's campaign seriously as do so many others! Formatting worked well for this one too.

 

8.5/10

[Laine 1,361]

Review:

 

This is a really fun read. I enjoyed all of the little references and tidbits that made this article a blast to read. Maybe you will win the White House on top of ROTY? This will certainly send shockwaves throughout the VHL landscape. #JGGForPresident

10/10