MJF Preseason routine

[FrostBeard 2,049]

When talking about my pre-season routine, I have spent years to make is as perfect as anyone could make it. I call it "The most amazing super duper kinky winky MJF's pre-season routine that rocks!" Alright, I agree, the title probably could be a bit shorter. 

Anyway, the way how I do prepare for the next season is utterly unique.

Firstly, one extremely common thing is to stay in shape. I say "NO" to that! Who needs to have muscles, strength, speed - what you really need a bit more chonk. I have a specific diet for that - Chonka Full. I tend to eat as many calories as I can - 1L of melted icecream? Easy. One 2L bucket of KFC - pfft, it is just a breakfast quantity anyway.  Drink as much booze as you can, don't put up limits as that only makes you weaker. 

Secondly, spending time skating and getting your moves back is not something you should do - what you should do is get into a hobby like food-testing or makeup art as that will give you a true focus on the most important things in life - food and beauty. 

Thirdly, don't listen to your GM. Well, I learned this the best from my family member John Frostbeard who got drafted by a guy named Bushito to Calgary Wranglers (Who even remembers that GM right?), promised him that he won't be traded and like 20 games into the season traded John to Seattle (That was the greatest decision ever as under Bushito Calgary at that time was the saddest franchise ever and under Seattle John managed to win 2 Continental cups). A quick message from John :"To all people who were on that Calgary team, most of you were quite nice and I liked my time there, it is however sad that the GM was so bad that the team had no future" 

So basically - routine is simple - don't exercise, eat more than you should, don't listen to the one person who can ruin your career. Good luck!

Edited March 22, 2021 by FrostBeard