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The Poopy Rookie Experience


JardyB10

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My Rookie Experience

The Poopy Peepants Tale

 

Golly gee gosh, the last couple years sure have been a whirlwind! One day I was just skating outside on the pond, unwinding after a stressful day at work, then before I knew it VHL great Jardy Bunclewirth was grabbing me, throwing me into his van, and driving me to Houston, Texas to train for the most prestigious hockey league in the world. After a Summer of hard training, I was off to Miami to play a full season with the Marauders in the VHLM. I didn't think I had that great of a season, and it seemed like a lot of media agreed. Needless to say, I was shocked at the S79 VHL Entry Draft when the Davos Dynamo selected me 4th overall, and even more so when Mr. Mattias called and said I was to come up and play in the VHL right away. I only started playing competitive hockey the day Mr. Bunclewirth kidnapped me, so I was more than afraid that I wasn't going to be able to perform to expectations. As it turns out, my worst fears were to come true.

 

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In order to make up for my lack of experience on the ice, I was always taught to move the puck to better players, and to do everything I possibly can to get the puck away from the opposition. While I never perfected it, I got the hang of this style of play in the VHLM, and thought I could translate at least some of that success to the VHL. For a brief, beautiful moment, everything almost seemed like it was going to work out. In the first period of my first game in the VHL, I was put on the powerplay with the best players on the Dynamo. Reylynn Reinhart went point-to-point with me, and I found Taro Tsujimoto in front of the net. He slipped the puck past Grekkark Gyrfalcon, and just like that, I had my first point in the VHL! I managed to assist on another goal that game too, and it was the most exhilarating day of my life. Little did I know that that one game was going to account for over 10% of my offensive production this season. For the rest of the year, things just didn't go my way. I would try to move the puck to my teammates, but as often as not it would end up in the other team's possession. I did everything I could to get the puck away from them, but it seems like everyone in this league is too fast and too slippery, and they would just skate right past me and score. I would get frustrated and take stupid penalties, and as a result I found myself riding the bench more than any other player on the team (except those creepy DAV brothers with their lifeless eyes and 100-yard stares...they're almost robotic...).

 

I can't complain too much though. While I didn't perform all that well personally, as a team we managed to make playoffs for the first time since S73. We defeated the Prague Phantoms in the wildcard round, but ultimately lost to the powerhouse Malmo Nighthawks in six very close games. We've got a strong core intact for next season, and a bunch of younger guys like myself who will continue to improve over the off-season. Even through all the bad, my first season in the VHL has been a great experience. I'm going to try not get too down on myself, and do what I can to make Jardy and everyone else proud. Maybe that way he'll stop hitting me...

 

- Poopy Peepants

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2 hours ago, JardyB10 said:

except those creepy DAV brothers with their lifeless eyes and 100-yard stares...they're almost robotic...

I myself find those guys very friendly. They are like me, mostly silent and striking a conversation ends up in a staring contest with them. I enjoy their company. -Tavau

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