Poopy Peepants Caught Using Social Services

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DILDO, NF (PP) - Witnesses at the Service Canada Building in Dildo, Canada were treated to quite the odd sight today. VHL Rookie of the Year Poopy Peepants was in line at the government building, apparently collecting a welfare cheque. This is in spite of the fact that Peepants signed a $1.25M contract with the HC Davos Dynamo after being drafted in S79, and has received various lucrative bonuses and sponsorship deals since joining the Victory Hockey League umbrella.

 

"Frankly, I find it despicable," VHL agent @Frank Chandwich said on Twitter 30 minutes after the incident. "It's bad enough that my tax dollars are paying for the skids and immigrants to live here in this beautiful continent. Now I'm paying for some trust fund rich kid despite the fact he makes millions? Frankly, I feel this calls for a citizen's arrest and execution." Chandwich is a known anti-everything, with fluid political values.

 

Peepants got into the VHL quite randomly and suddenly after VHL legend Jardy Bunclewirth plucked him off the streets. Bunclewirth was notably anti-welfare when he was in office, so experts are expecting some degree of fallout between the two parties.

 

Until next time, keep fit and have fun!

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