Turning The Negatives Into Positives From The Board Game Clue On Skate's First Training Session

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The Board Game Clue On Skates (which is literally just the board game Clue attached on top of some ice skates not some really weird name given by some horrible parents) had it’s first open training session out on the ice today after mysteriously appearing on the list of eligible draftees in the upcoming minor league draft. While many can’t quite understand why a board game is being given as much time and analysis as say a young player who has been training his or her entire life for this moment, rules are rules and The Board Game Clue On Skates was given the appropriate amount of open practice time given to potential draftees. While many scouts decided not to take notes on the general hockey performance of what is essentially a small cardboard box masquerading as a hockey player, the few that did left predictably scathing reviews of the $20 board game available in most major retailers sans ice skates. But we aren’t here to harp on those negatives, we are here to turn those frowns upside-down and look and turn those negatives into positives!

 

They say its slow, but we say it has a great engine!

 

Yes, the scouts like us saw The Board Game Clue On Skates move at a predictably glacial speed, and that was in the few moments when it wasn’t just resting itself against a wall. But let’s face it, The Board Game Clue On Skates could have kept playing at its peak performance forever if we let it. How many hockey players can you name that could get out there on the ice and keep up the same level of play for thirty minutes, let alone a full day! The VHL season is long and, when the coach is looking at the tired legs around the locker room on the home stretch, they’re going to be so thankful to have a player without legs to keep the energy going!

 

They say it can’t shoot, but we say its consistent!

 

Those just looking to take the negatives from The Board Game Clue On Skates’ open practice will tell you that it failed miserably in shooting drills and the result of zero goals is proof of that. Ok, yes it had no goals but at the same time The Board Game Clue On Skates also had no shots, meaning it recorded an equal amount of shots than it did goals. For any other hockey player out there, this would be seen as phenomenal! A goal for every shot you say? Well that’s the first overall draft pick incoming! But because it’s a “Board Game” (and I presume all board games would be under this same prejudice, not sure about Twister though), that same logic somehow doesn’t apply? Utter drivel!

 

So there you go, take THAT naysayers! Put the appropriate amount of respect on The Board Game Clue On Skates’ name please, both as a hockey player and as an entertainment factory for 3-6 players that will test your detective prowess to the fullest!

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REVIEW

 

I loved this article. You had a fun idea for a narrative for your player and you went all in on it in this article. Some people might dislike this type of player, who's not actually human, but I find it pretty funny and wholesome. I'm looking forward to seeing more of Clue On Skates and it's career!

8/10