A boy from Zeeland and goals

[Thunfish 72]

As another Sunday blew past them under the now familiar cold weather, Dutch winger Sunrise van de Schubbekuteveen observe a card in silence, his eyes roaming through the myriads of words. Chicago's previous season had been rough but by now, he seemed to be entirely focused on a single thing. The goals column, now displaying a pleasant 31 but still, to himself, in dire need of work. He had already cleared the 100-goal mark when it came to professional hockey, including the juniors and a stint in Europe, yet there was more to his mind at the time that just kept him awake through the night - the same as the past couple of nights - whether he'd be able to properly score at least three digits in his major league career.

 

It seemed like a curious goal, one suggested by the hockey insiders for a player that probably didn't seem like much to some people but a goal that the Dutchman was certain he could clear with a respectable performance. His eyes flashed through the entirety of the card regularly before being stuck at the number. Thirty-one. The closest 31 he could think of was the day of the month, when Schubbekuteveen's local soccer team VVS would have to gear up for a major game in the Tweede Divisie (Netherlands' third tier) against fellow mid-table side Midroad Apeldoorn VV. Sadly, he wouldn't have the chance to watch it but he was sure he'd get the news about it eventually.

 

His father, ever the passionate man, had fallen into another new passion of his that Sunrise had never heard of before, motorsport. Having watched a season of one of the world's many noteworthy racing championships, Sunrise's father was struck by the passion of such a sport. He had since decided he'd find a way to build a track on one of his many farms and perhaps finance a team to represent the village and had even started to talk one of his sisters into the idea of driving for a career. Another mess he would have to fix whenever he was able to go back to Europe.

 

Luz found herself bored, even more so than usual. The cold had made them hide inside for the past couple of weeks and besides a couple of trips to the local markets, that was about it for the two. She decided she'd try reaching up to her friends and family, given the down time and how vacation wasn't exactly blooming at the time being. That and she had already had enough of a fix of seeing Sunrise's relatives, the ever eventful group. Of note, she heard that a friend of hers, a security guard in training had gotten a job in Scotland, which... seemed to be peaceful enough but she wondered about the adventures Rosalinda might be enjoying with that basketball player she's acting as a bodyguard for.

 

The time for another season was reaching closer and closer for Chicago. And for their privilege, Sunrise had already said yes for another pair of seasons.

[MetalToday 266]

I really find this an interesting article talking about your goals and your family, I can tell why your player would be so passionate about hockey, it runs in the family. I like the lay-out and its easy to read but titling changing paragraphs could help viewing pleasure. That’s being nitpicky though, its not as needed for an article like this, there just wasn’t much to critic, I think its written well and no real errors that I can find. Good job! 10/10

[Kisslinger 342]

Review 8/10

This was a great read. I want to start off on what I think would increase the rating to a 10. I would like to see maybe a couple pictures, they make the article look super professional if done right. adding some titles will have it looking great. Now we can talk about what you did super well. The story is great, the connection to the family is cool and it adds some story to your character which helps in the future with future point tasks. Spelling and grammar are well done. Good job and good luck my friend!