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Is Whiskey Malone or Nicholas Corrigan The Best Player In The VHL Portal?


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Matthew Kai, Elfon Ashelf and Ian Smith

Jack Todaro and Haydyn

Chet Foreals and barry bigman

Dirty Caufield

Greg Santos

Majestic Buffalo

Dawson Thibert

Ches Morrison

Kiefer Leclerc

John Smith

Danny dimes

Evgeni Shevkov

Titomir Pukshuuter

Laser Brewer

George Patton

Calix Pearce

Cameron Elsby

 

 

Leaderboard

1: Matthew Kai

2: Calix Pearce

3: Cameron Elsby

4: Evgeni Shevkov

5: George Patton

6: barry bigman

7: Greg Santos

8: Elfon Ashelf

9: Kiefer Leclerc

10: Chet Foreals

11: Dirty Caufield

12: John Smith

13: Majestic Buffalo

14: Jack Todaro

15: Titomir Pukshuuter

16: Ches Morrison

17: Ian Smith

18: Danny dimes

19: Dawson Thibert

20. Haydyn

21. Laser Brewer

 

Wow, it’s been exactly one month and one day since I’ve given this an update, I’d best get back up to speed or I will never get up to date (Note: Regardless of what speed I’m going, I will never get up to date). So Whiskey Malone is the candidate today. Malone, with the username mollymcdeath, joined the VHL on July 9th 2019 at 11:24 AM EST and, do yourself a favour, check their creation thread out in dark mode because it serves as a beautiful white collage of all that is copy-and-pasted when it comes to VHLM offers along with the piece de resistance of the thread, Acydburn not only executing the rare “copy-and-paste we don’t need you” but also bringing to the table the incorrect use of “there”. Back to Malone though, they got stuck right into the heart of TPE earning and within three hours of creating had themselves a Rookie Profile to claim for 8 TPE and a practice facility claim for 2 TPE, not bad at all! So of the six teams that bid on Malone, who acquired their services? Well none, Malone never accepted a bid. And how did they follow up on their Rookie Profile point task? Well, they didn’t, they left the site for good just 49 minutes after writing their first 500-word essay on their player, which is certainly an interesting point for them to end their short VHL stint on. So as for where they rank, my immediate thoughts came to the tenth best player in the portal Chet Foreals, who retired within 17 hours of creating and, even though Malone didn’t sign with anyone, it would only make sense to put them above Foreals given they did earn more TPE in three hours than Foreals did in seventeen (plus Malone didn’t retire, they just left, so eight season longer career). However, it would also be crazy to consider Malone better than the ninth best player in the portal Kiefer Leclerc because Leclerc actually played hockey. Therefore, I deem Whiskey Malone to be the tenth best player in the VHL Portal.

 

New Leaderboard

1: Matthew Kai

2: Calix Pearce

3: Cameron Elsby

4: Evgeni Shevkov

5: George Patton

6: barry bigman

7: Greg Santos

8: Elfon Ashelf

9: Kiefer Leclerc

10: Whiskey Malone

11: Chet Foreals

12: Dirty Caufield

13: John Smith

14: Majestic Buffalo

15: Jack Todaro

16: Titomir Pukshuuter

17: Ches Morrison

18: Ian Smith

19: Danny dimes

20: Dawson Thibert

21. Haydyn

22. Laser Brewer

 

Eh, while we’re here, let’s do one more actually, let’s cover Nicholas Corrigan. Corrigan (username scottisheyebrow) joined the league a week prior to the start of the off-season so weren’t able to join a team right away, but were entered into the upcoming Season 79 VHLM Draft that would take place two weeks later. While Corrigan didn’t earn any TPE in their first two weeks in the league, they opened up their TPE earning account two days prior to their VHLM Draft with a Junior Review and a couple of reviews of media spots and that effort was enough to convince the Las Vegas Aces to select Corrigan with the 48th overall pick in the draft. Unfortunately we only see one more week of earning out of Corrigan in the form of another couple of reviews and a press conference for 4 capped TPE, which means despite being willing to type out several words for TPE, never actually claimed Welfare. Begs the question whether the term “welfare” just has too much of a negative stigma to it that makes some people avoid it even if they don’t write media. Maybe we should change the button’s name to “Casual Friday”, because everyone loves Casual Friday. The most exciting thing about Corrigan though is that they played a sport called hockey and actually have some stats that I can report on that allows me to rank them among the portal’s best players (although clearly a lack of stats hasn’t stopped me before). Corrigan played all 72 games for the Aces which, based on their TPE earning, is a surprise because by the end of the season they’d long past the point at which they should have been released for activity. It could be that Corrigan slipped under the radar as they had been playing fourth line minutes, which is a very curious role to have Corrigan (a human being who likely devoted most of their entire life to that point with the sole ambition of playing center) in when you consider that, for their last 26 games of the season the Aces gave the first line center role to a robot that was not only programmed to specifically play hockey at a very basic level, but also programmed to play on the wing, While the Aces made the playoffs, Corrigan’s activity meant that they couldn’t join the rest of the team for the post-season and thus Corrigan’s two goals and six assists wound up being their only statistical contribution to the VHLM, so they’re probably due consideration for being among the top ten players in the VHL Portal. However, I think tenth is also as high as they can go as, while Kiefer Leclerc only had eleven games at the VHLM level, they did at least have a huge impact in those 11 games getting 1.2 points per 20, nearly a point per 20 more than Corrigan (0.24). So forgot what you may have read earlier in the article, science demands that Nicholas Corrigan is the tenth best player in the VHL Portal.

 

 

New Leaderboard

1: Matthew Kai

2: Calix Pearce

3: Cameron Elsby

4: Evgeni Shevkov

5: George Patton

6: barry bigman

7: Greg Santos

8: Elfon Ashelf

9: Kiefer Leclerc

10: Nicholas Corrigan

11: Whiskey Malone

12: Chet Foreals

13: Dirty Caufield

14: John Smith

15: Majestic Buffalo

16: Jack Todaro

17: Titomir Pukshuuter

18: Ches Morrison

19: Ian Smith

20: Danny dimes

21: Dawson Thibert

22. Haydyn

23. Laser Brewer

 

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