If I was the commish for one day

[Daniel Janser 2,108]

If I was commish for one day, I would follow the tradition of other Swiss at the top of a sport like René Fasel, Sepp Blatter and Gianni Infantino.

 

Which of course means to turn a sport into a money-printing machine with little to no morals.

 

As first order of the day I would implement the VHLA (VHL Africa). The fact, that overnight there were 50 Million Dollars more on my Swiss bank account would be of course a completely unrelated coincidence.

 

The TPE range would be 1000+ and the VHL would be hard capped at 1000 and if players would want to play beyond 1000 TPE they need to join a VHLA team.

 

The VHLA would not draft players but would bid for them like in European football. And here are the eight VHLA franchises (in no particular order):

 

 

Pretoria Cheetahs

This Southafrican team would be allowed (as their team name suggests) to circumvent the VHLA financial fairplay rules without consequences (and thereby make it much more effective than the UEFA equivalent, where everyone can do so). The first GM would be Olaf 'Ollie the Goalie' Kolzig.

 

 

Alexandria Librarians

This Egyptian franchise would be mainly consist of bookworms and nerds with the physical prowess of spavined worms. Which of course will make them the perennial bottomfeeder team. Their first GM would be Mo Salah (for no specific reason).

 

 

Kibo Peaks

Tanzania's first icehockey team would play on the Lake Victoria. For that purpose, they will pour as much liquid nitrogen into the biggest lake in Africa as it takes to freeze it over (take that Winter Classic). As the Lake Victoria is believed to be the source of the Nile, which in turn is the river mostly associated with Egypt, this puts them into eternal (and one sided) animosity with the Librarians. The first GM will be Chris Nielsen.

 

 

Lagos Oilers

The team based in the petroleum-rich Nigeria would be the equivalent of the Edmonton Oilers. Being able to afford the best player in the world but yet still choke in every playoffs. Rumun Ndur will be appointed as the first GM

 

 

 Antananarivo Lemuriformes

Named after the omni-present primates, the team name does neither instill fear nor respect and they are considered a push-over. This is not helped by their vastly incompetent GM King Julien, often maliciously named 'Malagasy Milbury'.

 

 

Brazzaville Braggers

The franchise name of this team was chosen to spite the DR Kongo who does not have a VHLA team (their offer was just better). This was also the only reason why they applied for the VHLA. Since they do not really care about their team, the GM position is vacant at the moment.

 

 

Carthage Elephants

This franchise has their stadium in Tunis (former Carthage) and is an up and coming team, not least due to its GM Hannibal Barca who brings a plethora of experience playing hockey in Mississauga.

 

 

Yamassoukrou Eagles

This team from the Côte d'Ivoire is still in the process of hiring players and staff. They are very eager to make this new sport a success in their country. Their GM Ronan Lavelle is working the phones hard to build up a respectable team. Why Ronan you ask? Well, someone mixed up the Irish flag with the Ivory Coast one and the rest is a (drunken) (Hi)story.

 

There you have it, the mischiev I could wreak if I ever became Commish... let's hope I never do.

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@DreMin15 @Arce