Dogwood Announced as New Commissioner, Eyes Massive Changes (Theme Week)

[dogwoodmaple 380]

Oh, how I have longed for the day to be in charge of this league.  And finally after all this time, that day is upon us.  My first act as Commissioner is to officially bow out of the mayoral race and tomfoolery that befell the wonderful city of Vancouver.  Luckily there was a provision in the city's by-laws that allowed me to vacate the position if I was ever named Commissioner of VHL.  But straight to business!  There's change in the air and boy is it wide sweeping. First, I'll be tearing the roof off of every arena in the league and mandating all outdoor games.  Rain?  We play.  Snow?  We play.  Ice storm?  You guessed it, we play.  It will add all sorta of excitement to the games, the crowd, and the entire league.  It also means the players will have to deal with the adversity of the constantly changing conditions.  Of course, this will be an expensive endeavor, especially since we're dealing with ice, but we've recently entered into a league-wide endorsement deal with a multi-billion dollar company who will fund this.  I'm not at liberty to discuss the details of this partnership, but needless to say it is enormous for VHL.  Next, we're increasing the size of the goal.  I can already hear goalies and defenders complaining, but I could not care less.  Offense drives this league and more goals means more excitement which means better ratings and more money for everyone.  Get ready to hear those goal horns go off on a regular basis and some spookily high scoring games.  We're talking kicking the extra point after a field goal type numbers here.  Plus, since we're asking the fans to sit through outdoor games, the least we can do is put on a show for them.  Next, a completely revamped powerplay.  In an effort to get players to actually follow the rules, we'll be adding Double Trouble to all powerplays.  That is, when someone commits a penalty, not only will their team be down a man for the allotted time period, but the opposing team will also be able to add a player on their side.  It will incentivize rule-following but also create extra excitement and make every one of those situations that much more important during the course of a game.  Next, we're bringing the VHL to Atlanta, the greatest sports city in the country.  Rabid fans, fantastic infrastructure, and the best airport in the world make it an easy decision.  I haven't decided which team is being voluntold that they're moving, but it is absolutely going to happen the day I take office.  There's a level of untapped potential that just cannot be ignored with the Empire City of the South. And to prove to the rest of the league that mean business and am truly doing this job for the betterment of the league, I will not be taking a salary for my entire tenure.  It's all about advancing the league and improving the experience for players and fans alike.  That will be my one and only goal and with the changes I've outlined, the VHL will be in the best place in its storied history.

 

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