ITT: I Ramble About VHLM Player Names

[Doomsday 4,143]

One of my favorite parts of the VHL is the names that some members come up with for their players. Some of them go down in history for their performance, while others are remembered for their silly names. Here are some of my favorites that I've encountered from the VHLM this season:

 

Baby Moo Moo:  Come on now, how could you not love this? Just try not to picture an adorable little cow on skates with a helmet strapped to its head out there doing its best to be a good hockey player. Good luck not picturing that now. 

 

Simons Worst Nightmare: Simon T, the infamous creator of the Simon T's Hockey Simulator that the VHL has used since day one, is the namesake of this player. While it is unknown whether or not the player is a menace to the French Canadian programmer himself, he certainly has been one of the VHLM's most productive players this season. Maybe flattery does get you somewhere with Simon after all.

 

Jebediah Big Ol Doinks In Amish: A spectacularly bizarre name that makes me chuckle every time I read it. How did an Amish guy find out about hockey? Where did he learn to play? And most importantly, who is tending to the fields and churning all the butter while Jebediah is living his best life on the ice?

 

Free Gorlab: An honest plea to release a beloved VHL member, Gorlab, from his ban. However, what makes this silly is that there isn't anything to free him from: Gorlab is not banned, and he could come back and make a new player whenever he wants to.

 

Jaja Dingdong Jr: It's ridiculous, it's silly, and I absolutely love it. But the best part of it, however, is that the name infers that a man named Jaja Dingdong existed, had a son, and named him after himself. A story like that's gotta be true.

 

Aeschylus Jigglejawns CXXXVII II: What's better than a second Jaja Dingdong? How about a dynasty of Aeschylus Jigglejawns? It's such a preposterous and absurd notion that you can't help but crack a smile and laugh. Is there a book about this family, because if so, I know what my next story to immerse myself in is.

 

[McWolf 3,116]

2 hours ago, Doomsday said:

CXXXVII II

Wait is that 137, the second?