Grimgor Ironhide on S91 Entry Draft

[FrostBeard 1,984]

GRIMGOR IRONHIDE ON S91 ENTRY DRAFT

Oi, ya gitz! Listen up, 'cause it's me, Grimgor Ironhide, da biggest, meanest, and greenest boss you'll ever know. I'm in charge of my own mob of ardboyz, and they all know I'm da Big Boss of da World Edge Mountains, da master of da Darklands, and da true warlord of all black orcs. I'm here to tell all them teams thinkin' 'bout pickin' me in this S91 VHL Entry Draft – I'm da real deal, and I play da best krumpin' hockey there is, ain't no one better.
 

What can ya expect from me? Well, I'll be breakin' some bones, looting, and takin' heads off puny, weak necks. It's all 'bout domination and showin' da world that I'm da biggest boss, and I mean da biggest!
 

But there are a few things you need to know if you wanna have Grimgor Ironhide on your team:
 

FIRST – I won't lift a finger 'less you scout me good. I'll sit on my green arse for as long as it takes, but I ain't playin' if you don't scout me first.

SECOND – I'm only loyal if you give me all da ice-time, all dapoints, and a big mob around me. I'm da boss, and no one else matters. I'm da biggest of bosses!

THIRD – I ain't signin' no long-term contracts. I fight, I win, I pillage, and I loot – I DESTROY EVERYTHING! WAAAAGH!
 

I don't care if you got da weakest or da strongest team, just give me a shot, and da wins will follow. I also wanna prove myself in VHLE for one season – show 'em all how strong I am! I AM DA BIGGEST OF BOSSES!
 

When it comes to talent, just look at my last season in VHLM. I smashed through everyone, and now I'm gonna do da same in VHLE. Then VHL will see da wrath of da World Edge Mountains,da master of Darklands, and da true big warlord of all black orcs – that's me, Grimgor Ironhide!

And let's not forget, I'm a champion, not some puny champion, but a champion of da big game of hockey. Me and my crew in Mississauga won da biggest of cups! Not da kind you drink from, but da kind you put behind your throne to show you're da biggest boss.

 

I do have one request, though. da team that drafts me better have a good feast ready – da biggest fish, da biggest game, I wanna feel da thrill of victory once again!

So, there you have it, I'm da Big Boss of da VHL now, Grimgor, da Green Menace, da biggest of black orcs, and da most savage orc, alive or dead! WAAAAGH!
 

Well, ya see, there's this fancy word called "Post Scriptum," and I reckon I should give it a whirl, just like I've seen it done before. So here it goes:

 

I've also found myself takin' a likin' to some of them poems, and I gotta say, they're more beautiful than anythin' you'd find with them stunties or them fancy-pants men from da Empire. This Alexander Pope fella, he's a true master of words, and his verses give me strength for any battle. Now, I might not understand all them fancy words, but there's one line that's stuck in my head: "There stern religions quenched the undying flame, there died da best of passions, love and fame" - yeah, that's the one!

 

I reckon there's more to 'em words than meets da eye, but it sounds like somethin' a big boss like me could appreciate. So, there you go, I'm sharin' my thoughts on this fancy poetry stuff. Now, back to krumpin' and conquering! WAAAAGH!