S90 Team World Roster Announcement - Media Spot Edition!

[jacobcarson877 2,460]

With the game on the line, one shot, who would you rather have taking it, Iggy or Curry?

This is a question I get a lot as the General Manager of the World. It has haunted me for many years, and has left me sleepless for many nights. I have waited all this time for my turn to make this selection, and now, as the aliens hurtle towards Earth, I, Jacob Carson am left to make the final decision.

Of everyone on the entire Earth, open shot, the fate of the universe on the line, the Martians have the death beam pointed at earth, you better hit it, I WANT:

 

From the United States of America, Center, Napoleon Dynamite of the Los Angeles Stars!

 

From the United States of America, Center, Mo Probert, most recently of the Malmo Nighthawks!

 

From the United States Minor Outlying Islands, Winger, Landon Wolanin of the Helsinki Titans!

 

From Canada, Winger, Larry Abass Jr, most recently of the Riga Reign!

 

From Canada, Winger, Vincent Laroche-Gagnier of the D.C. Dragons!

 

From Canada, Winger, Sadie St-Louis, most recently of the Riga Reign!

 

From South Africa, Defender, Hammar Voss, most recently of the Helsinki Titans!

 

From Australia, Defender, Callum Murray, most recently of the Los Angeles Stars!

 

From Saint Kitts and Nevis, Defender, Deron Nesbitt of the London United!

 

From Japan, Defender, Ryuji Sakamoto of the D.C. Dragons!

 

From Australia, Goaltender, Lachlan Summers of HC Davos Dynamo!

From Bhutan, Goaltender, Clueless Wallob, of the Seattle Bears!

 

 These players have ice water in their veins, these players are those types of players, high leverage moment, fate of the universe on the line, I want – open shot, not go get it, I want these players taking that shot for me.

So you’re not the shooters those other teams are, but what I’m saying is, when it matters most, you’re the dudes I think doesn’t care about that moment. Same guys, like ice water in your veins, what is your response?

Some would call me crazy. Some might even laugh. But if you were to put me on ESPN on a random Friday night, quite like this random Tuesday afternoon, this is the answer I would give you.

 

We have top level talent at all positions, and with international cooperation, we have the team that is best suited to take on any alien threat, and as such is also conveniently the best suited to take on all of the individual regions of the world in a short but intense ice hockey tournament.

 

So perhaps this announcement is better suited to announce that these are the members of the team that will be taking on Team Canada, Team USA, Team Eastern Europe, Team Western Europe, and Team Nordic in the upcoming S90 World Cup!

Everyone from around the world will be tuning in for this amazing tournament… soon! We await the announcement of a few more teams, despite knowing that Team World has the ultimate advantage over all of them.

 

Jacob Carson, General Manager of the World

[BOOM 8,665]

9 hours ago, jacobcarson877 said:

 

From South Africa, Defender, Hammar Voss.....

 

 

I'm back bitches!

 

[Daniel Janser 2,122]

5 minutes ago, BOOM said:

 

I'm back bitches!

 

Lazarus re-incarnate

[JCarson 709]

Article review:  This is a fun way of announcing the World Cup team, hope this helps create a bond between team members as you strive for the gold medal.  For a team that is made up of random locations around the world and the leftovers of countries that have already picked it as to be tough to introduce a team and get excited. This author always creates a positive and uplifting atmosphere with their articles, keep up the good work. Hopefully the World team can make a great showing, if not they will probably have fun anyway.

Good luck.

 

I give this article a 9/10

Edited October 29, 2023 by JCarson