Theme Week: Recruitment Ideas

[FrostBeard 1,988]

Recruitment Ideas for VHL

With Theme Week being an absolute banger of nothing new, I have decided to provide incredibly valuable insight on "How to Fix Recruitment" and your nice 4 steps how to do it!

Firstly, I need to make my position clear - when my good friend @Ahma asked me about Theme Week and potential podcast, we both agreed that there really isn't any good reason to focus on this topic, with my response being: My take - they big people, recruit is big job. Do job.

Secondly, who would I really be if I didn't take up this glorious challenge and get you some juicy ideas! Recruitment is this lovely and finicky thing where you have to balance strawberry syrup of expectations with a beautiful handful of uncooked rice called "trust me, this is not NHL24 sim or nothing like that". So for that I have few suggestions. 

Let us start with the simplest and in my humble opinion, the most important thing - Theme Song. We have existed for far too long as a community without a high quality Theme Song. It has to have synthbass and some lovely synthchorus effects, real violin and cello that is all brought together with traditional drums and a killer electric guitar solo with as much wah and distortion you can get (Basically we need to hire Slash). That said,  we would also need to work on lyrics. My idea for that would be to focus on our strongsuits and what everyone will appreciate... Hmm, I actually might have something for you..... Imagine this as a ballad, in the style of "I would do anything for love".....

Whenever you feel down and lonely
When time is just a moderate commodity
Don't think twice and say it slowly
I want to join your cozy community

V H L - it is the place where your dreams become reality
V H L - it is the space where all of us can lose our sanity

V H L - don't think twice
V H L - don't look back
JOIN US AT VHLFORUM.COM! 

To be honest, I think I nailed it. So now, all we really need is to contract someone to write that, play it, mix it and master it so in total - will probably be around 4000 dollars, but, hey -wouldn't it be cool? 
There is also another thing we could LIGHTLY focus on when it comes to recruitment - we need a phone service advertisements. Hear me out - what could possibly go wrong if we would decide to hire underpaid workers to make calls to random numbers every day and talk about "Your own professional hockey player experience in Victory Hockey League". To be honest I think some might think we are a scam however, let's face it - aren't we a bit of a scam? Of course we are... I have already thought of the introduction whenever the call is made "Hello there potential prospect! Would you like to hear a story about a young player Scotty Campbell and how you can be just like him?" - I truly think that this would not only work but we would get all the best people here to join! *Don't forget to tell about a chance to donate some money to speed up that process towards becoming Scotty Campbell!* 

I knew I had great ideas but people, I think I have finally managed to out-do myself. Beautiful. Let us make sure we can achieve that together and increse VHL to a point when VHL will have 32 teams, VHLE will have their own Minor league called VHLME, VHLM will have 32 teams and each team will have a subsidiary team in Vicotry South East Asia Hockey League! 

I'm out! 
 

[Ahma 1,307]

Victory South East Asia Hockey League does have a nice ring to it, kinda heat

 

Frosty spittin facts, getting rhyme and writing fire!

 

Take a note, VHL bosses and big job people

 

 

*typo

Edited November 26, 2023 by Ahma