New year, same Wanker

[VattghernCZ 1,054]

New year, new me, blah blah blah, as if Wann Kerr was about to change his antics anytime soon. He was a shitpost when I created him in at the end of July 2022 as my first gen player to see what this game is about, without necessarily taking it seriously. And he remains a shitpost to this day. No way I would have imagined Wanker getting drafted 9^th overall, or somehow growing to 1349 TPE at the moment (btw, 1349 is a great Norwegian band, what a coincidence). Well, thank you Shindigs for lighting the fire under Wanker's ass, still miss ya buddy.

Due to my lack of crerativity, I've already written about Wanker's humble accomplishments too many times. So how about looking at what's to come now that the last number of the date changes, and somehow people make a big deal out of it?

Well, there are only three seasons left in his career. The first one is set to take place with the United. What would I like to see? We still have elite offense and one of the best goaltenders in the league, we've got as good of a shot at the cup as anyone. Individually, cracking 100 points would be nice, especially after scoring 96 last season and coming back with exactly the same build after handling depreciation.

S93? Well, I don't even know what team will Wanker play for. Will the United decide they want an extra year of the Wanker experience? No matter what team it is, I want Wanker to play for a team seriously competing. And for S94? Honestly, I'll probably care more about the storyline. Kerr moving to London? Returning to Vancouver? Joining Seattle, the Wolves' rivals like a true wanker? Or spending the last season in his home country with the Phantoms? All sound great.

Of course, midway through the 2024, I'll have to say goodbye to this shitpost. The league will certainly be a better place then. What's next? Well, I was thinking about another shitpost, maybe Abel Lend? Or maybe use Czech to create shitpost names, like a Japanese star Masemeno Nasaku (he's got semen on his jacket)? These were all possibilities before I've sold my soul to Greenland.

The league ain't ready for Alagsantere, the first of the Grønvolds.