Then and now.

[FrostBeard 2,054]

At this point in my VHL existance, I feel that I have done basically everything I have ever wanted. 

However, there is a bit to say about my own experience on the balance between being a GM and having interest in building a solid player. 

Firstly, I would want to focus on the fact that my opinion on this topic has changed a bit as previously, especially with Marshall James Frostbeard, I thought that the player and the team are tied together, that I couldn't enjoy the fact that I have 2 teams to root for, two teams to be excited about. It was a bit of a false mindset as it also made sure that I constantly fell out of interest on updating my player as he has right there, always, on my Malmo team. Right after him, I understood that it is time to take a step back, reevaluate not only my view but also how I want to remain being active in VHL. 

For a while, I had contemplated a potential exit from VHL, retirement, taking full seasons off and not caring about anything VHL related. Though every time I focus on it and try to persuade myself to leave for any of the reasons I can't remember now, I came back with the idea that I can still keep a player going and have fun that way, engaging in a LR and remaining as stalwart as I can be. 

So is balancing between GM and a player easy? If you take a smart mindset, yes. To me, the core idea was to make sure that my player and the team I play for are not in any way tied. That I am 2 seperate entities, GM who is loyal and very supportive of the team I am managing and the players that trust me and a Player, who is loyal to the teammates, ideals, some role playing aspect of it all, having a different, player-oriented personality. I think that spending time in Beardislava was an important point for that as GMing in VHLE and having player in VHL made me understand how much I enjoy not having GM and player tied together. It almost felt revitalizing. 

And now, when I am nearing an end of a big chapter in VHL, I think that I will dive even deeper into the mindset that role-play oriented player is the one thing that makes me excited to check how did Grimgor do, what did he do, did he live up to his name. Remember the comparisson with MJF, I never really cared what he did, it was all team, team, team for me and for that reason there was no real effort. 

In any case, balancing was a question that I couldn't answer for a long time but now, with an answer that I can live with, I am looking forward to my next year/s step among awesome people and highly passionate individuals. Just have to remember to build a player I am happy with and one I can resonate with. This can also be a point here that I feel at some point I will return back to Frostbeard family players, but for the foreseeable future I have my fantasy players set, different universes, different stories and incredibly fun things to get excited about.

[jacobcarson877 2,541]

Yeah I definitely lost a lot of Landon Wolanin those last couple seasons as I was taking over London, and then recreating it gave me just another excuse to not pay attention to my player and just think London, since she was just playing in the M and E, what did that matter? I knew my GMing time was up anyways, but I had always hoped that I could better balance the 2 in my head, and I'm glad you're finding it!