The Green Bastard (from parts unknown)

[DarkSpyro 1,008]

Ricky’s Agent: Ever since the LaFleur brothers moved to Beverly Hills, they have become friends with quite a few celebrities and superstars. It’s been a treat seeing so many iconic individuals show up to the games and other team events for the LA Stars.

 

Ricky’s Agent: For theme week, I got a special guest for you all! He’s here to give his take on who he thinks the toughest guy or gal is in the VHL! He’s been in movies, played for sports teams before, and of course has tons of in-ring success; I present to you-- THEEEEE RO--

 

**The boys watching on a TV monitor backstage**

 

Bubbles: Jesus Murphy!! Ricky!! Look!! It’s The F***ing Rock!!!

 

Ricky: Yeah I toadasoe that I met this Rocker guy before. Weren’t you paying attention? 

 

Bubbles: Ricky, that’s not a “Rocker guy” that’s The f***ing People’s Champion!!!

 

Ricky: The who’s champion?

 

Bubbles: Oh my f***!!! Ricky!! He’s the most electrifying man in sports entertainment! Ricky-- how did you-

Ricky: Shhhh, Bubs, I think he’s about to say something. 

 

**The Rock holds up a microphone and stares into the camera**

 

The Rock: Everyone is taking their own take on this season’s theme week, mentioning tough guys and gals from around the league. You know what I have to say about that?

 

The Rock: A lot of people have been focusing on the on-ice aspects of being an enforcer, but sometimes there are particularly imposing individuals who have a presence behind the scenes. That strike fear into the hearts of all. 

 

The Rock: Enter 1 of the toughest nuts to ever come out of Sunnyvale Trailer park: The Green Bastard. We say he’s from Sunnyvale Trailerpark but he claims that he’s “from parts unknown”. Truly, this is the wrestling alter ego of none other than Bubbles LaFleur. 

 

The Rock: There have been stories of The Green Bastard showing up to practices in the VHLM after the San Diego Marlins would have a bad loss. This wasn’t very often so not many took note, and everyone on that team understood that Bubbles was a kind-hearted and level headed soul- but as the Green Bastard? He was 1 terrifying S.O.B.

The Rock: Allegedly, this mean Green sunuva b**** Bastard, power-bombed a fellow teammate through a table just outside of the team’s arena. Mysteriously this happened after said sumbi*** hurled insults at Bubbles and supposedly he replied; “You f***in’ want one?!” Sounds familiar..
 

**video plays on the jumbo-tron**

 

The Rock: ..And magically this big green a** hole appeared afterwards to beat the holy ever living out him. If that’s not enough, then I happen to have his brother Ricky here! Let’s ask him who he thinks was the toughest player in the game is right now.

**Ricky and Bubbles enter**
 

The Rock: So what do you think, Rick? Who’s the tough S.O.B. in the VHL?

 

Ricky: I’m not to sure on how to answer that to beat Frank. I mean--if the Green Bastard was around, then I’m pretty sure he would take down anyone in the entire VeHelLers! I do respect Bubbles forto being a man and doing his responsibles as an A** Captain--

 

Bubbles: Ricky it’s Assistant Captain, not A** Captain.

 

Ricky: Not now, Bubs, I’m answering the Rockies champ’s question to who I think the toughest person in the VeHelLer is. 

 

The Rock: **raises his eyebrow and looks at Ricky**

 

Ricky: Look, my answer is simple. It’s The Green Bastard, alright? I just wish everyone could see him let his anger out more on the ice, and show peoples that he is deserving to be called the toughest guy in the league!
 

The Rock: Thanks Ricky. So in conclusion. We can all thank our almighty L.A. Stars for keeping Bubbles’ alter-ego in check so far this season.

The Rock: Only time will tell if we see The Green Bastard show himself once again to layeth the smacketh down- on all of your candy asses~

 

The Rock: ..if you SMELLLLLLLLL!!!!! what THE ROCK!!! IS. COOKING!!!

**mic drop**

(Happy April Fools buddy!! @AJW)

 

(666 words)

Edited April 2 by DarkSpyro

[Banackock 8,500]

666

[AJW 2,350]

Oh my FUCK Ricky that’s the people’s champ!! love it brother great article