The Toughest Theme Week of All

[Victor 11,229]

It's tough for a guy to be constrained by the limitations of a theme week, especially one so narrow in its interpretation. Tough guy? You think you're tough, guy? Not as tough as a theme week about tough guys. How many variations of the same article are we being forced to write and read, all to satiate the apparently unrelenting appetite of the theme week gods? There is no tougher gig for a guy than to be forced to write about tough guys, other than perhaps to write about tough guys without writing about them at all.
 

Tough as it is on my newly-found belief in the importance of freedom of expression and creativity, I do welcome a clear direction for this week, and depending on the length of this article, perhaps for several additional weeks to follow. My running list of article ideas has been slowly but surely being whittled away to such an extent that there's barely anything left on it, and some of the ideas that are left are not even particularly good or inspiring ones. That said, I will not wallow in this misery, I don't need a shoulder to cry on, I will not be that guy.

 

Tough as that was to write, at least that paragraph had largely formed in my head before I wrote it. This one, on the other hand, is complete free-form. I type as I think and I think as I type, set themes be damned. Who said a tough guy had to be a VHL player and not a VHL idea, a VHL concept, a VHL dream? Is the toughest guy in the league not one who grinds out an article week after week, without relenting, without stopping to look and appreciate all that's gone on before and all that's gone on around him? How many words have I put to virtual paper over the years? Millions, at the very least, maybe more. Some lost in the ether of old forums and deleted subforums. Some still there, readily available to be read and consumed by no one other than internet scraping machines, rattling away with their digital parts creaking and screeching, a helpless cry heard by no one but the inhabitants of the dark web. After all, what does it matter what I wrote a week, a month, a decade ago? Just some words put on the internet by some guy.
 

Tough luck to those who thought the bit could only last a couple paragraphs. Aye, I am doubling down, with every sentence I feel stronger and more empowered than the previous. Tough guys? Don't make me laugh. In a league which incessantly complains about the limitations of a sim engine when assessing defensive performances, where the Boulet discussion invariably and inevitably boils down to looking at hits and penalty minutes, you want me to dedicate 500 words (or more!) to discussing hits and penalty minutes? Spare me. How many hits have been dished out over the seasons? Millions? How many pucks have been lost a a result of them? Slightly fewer. How many penalty minutes served as a result? An imperceptible amount. Perhaps those scraping machines could answer that question. Not one that can be calculated by a mere mortal guy.
 

Tough, isn't it? You're growing weary, dear reader. “You've got your 500 words,” I hear you cry, “Please, stop, no more.” Too late, I thunder in response. The rage deep inside me, that I didn't even know was there, is what is fuelling me now. One week of TPE is insufficient for the mental gymnastics I've forced myself through. This may have to go all the way to 2,000 to justify the idea. Terrible theme weeks breed terrible submissions and terrible submissions... well, you're still here aren't you? What search engine are you from? Where would you like this work published? Google, Yahoo, Bing? Some other backwater website only used by one guy?

 

This was fun, in an odd, deeply disturbing kind of way. On reflection I've decided I don't need two weeks of article here because logistically it's better for me to write a multi-week claim next week. Otherwise I would have still been going, believe me on that. Fuck your theme week, tough guy.

[Thunder 1,315]

That was tough!!

[Rin 264]

Yeah I'm gonna level, there were so many cool suggestions in that threat but the one they picked kinda blows

[Victor 11,229]

6 hours ago, Rin said:

Yeah I'm gonna level, there were so many cool suggestions in that threat but the one they picked kinda blows

I think I'm borderline fed up with theme week as a concept in general, but not helped by this one being so dull.

[Beketov 9,293]

8 hours ago, Rin said:

Yeah I'm gonna level, there were so many cool suggestions in that threat but the one they picked kinda blows

Gotta stay consistent with people bitching even when we don’t make up the ideas, ya know?

[Rin 264]

9 hours ago, Victor said:

I think I'm borderline fed up with theme week as a concept in general, but not helped by this one being so dull.

 

I'm with you 100%. It's the one week of the season where I have to put aside creative liberty, making my PT feel more like homework instead.