Mike Returns - Resume/Job Application

[Mike 726]

 

Mike
The best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be.

#1 Goat St.

The Best, USA 00001

(000) 000-0001

Mike@aol.com

Introduction

Here is my personal VHL resume.  I am seeking a job in the VHL that will pay me maximum TPE each week in return for minimum effort.  You may hear others slander my record or abilities but know they are all lying.  I can be trusted to do any required task and will do so to adequate ability.  Please respond to this post with the job you’d like to offer me in the VHL.  I’ll also be representing Michael Szatkowski III - Goalie in the Season 100 draft.

Skills

I have a long history of being the best at everything.  I started as the best child, became the best teenager, and ended up becoming the best adult.  I’ve had almost every job the VHL has to offer from recruiting manager, general manager, magazine person, VHL Facebook admin,  updater, World Cup GM, World Cup Administrator, and the list goes on virtually endlessly.  A very humble guy but I just want to remind everyone that I did all the jobs and did them all the best.

Experience

S40ish-Currently, Unemployed

• From around the early Season 40s until the Season 70s I was mostly unemployed.  By choice of course not by a lack of skills or ability.  I took a long VHL sabbatical.  Came back for a short time around the 70s in a substitute adjunct kind of way and then disappeared again until now at Season 100.  

S40ish Seattle Bears GM

• I stepped in temporarily as the Seattle Bears GM.  I vaguely remember not many people were interested.  The team was in a bit of a limbo situation and tried to help turn it around a bit but was no longer super interested in the league.  Eventually stepped down giving GM to Bananananahammock who might still be running the team.

S30ish Riga Reign GM

• Ended a world class long historic rise of failure.  The team had a long run of missing the playoffs and not winning a Cup.  Had a ton of great players, loved the time there.  We generally fell short but ultimately did bring home a cup.  We found a way to win by creating a strategy never seen before in the VHL.  Trading away the league’s best goalie for an inactive and winning the cup.  I’ve been told this is now a popular strategy that I take full credit for.

S10ish Toronto Legion GM

• First cup win in franchise history.  

Education

I have no formal certificates of proficiency and have weak grammar.  I believe all periods should end with a double space.   I feel commas are overrated but I can use the following programs:
Microsoft Office
League of Legends
Robinhood
STHS
Discord

Awards

Mike Szatkowski award named in my honor given to the best person in the league that year or something like that.  The league wanted to name every award after me but they felt it would be too confusing.

Edited Monday at 10:41 PM by Mike